why do I do this? is it normal?

[RattleAndRoll]

I'm posting here but not sure if it's a mental health issue or not. Apologies if it's not and if i offend anybody, not my intention.

This is hard to explain but am hoping someone will get what I'm trying to say.

I have little races/competitions in my head all the time and I have to win otherwise something bad will happen/usually I believe someone will die (my mum is who naturally comes into my head).

I used to do it around 6 years ago whilst walking to work. So there's a lamppost ahead of me and I can see a car coming towards me on the road. In my head i say 'I'm going to cross that lamppost before the car does otherwise something bad will happen'. So i'd walk faster, sometimes jog, to ensure i get there first.

Then I moved and stopped walking along this road and it seemed to have stopped. However the last year or so it's started again but this time it's all the time and I can't always control the outcome.
I'm in the kitchen washing up and the microwave is on. In my head I say I'm going to finish this washing up before the microwave pings, so I mad rush to get it done. Or I'm going to have done X before this song finished. Or I'm going to get X done before my DS makes any kind of noise. Or whilst at a roundabout I say there's only going to be 3 more cars then I'm pulling out. And each time I know that if it doesn't go in my favour something bad will happen.
Obviously I can't control them all so sometimes I fail and nothing bad does happen but I can't control the feeling of having to do something before X happens.

Also now I don't even have to say it in my head, I just get a feeling and know what I need to try to do and do my best to do it so nothing bad does happen.

Does that make sense to anyone?

On ocd cleaners program on tele they say they have certain things/rituals they have to do otherwise something bad will happen. Mine aren't rituals it's just random things. But it rang bells with me.

Anyone have any experience with this? Or does anyone do this as well and it's normal?

Thank you

Just to add I am totally aware nothing bad will happen if I don't do it, I know that, but I can't not try to do it, I have to. And my head is continually setting these challenges for me, i can't control it or make it stop doing it.

I do this too and it's part and parcel of my OCD. Can you speak to your GP?

I have always done this and to a degree i think it is relatively "normal" however i have developed severe anxiety and this is part of it.

Do you have any other anxieties?

Definately worth talking to your GP about as they can refer you for some sort of therapy if it is having a negative impact on your life. If it isn't bothering you then its ok, but it is so its fine to talk to your dr about it.

I do it and I always assumed everyone did, but maybe not.

Thank you for replying.

It doesn't really bother me though sometimes i say in my head 'enough now fgs, stop it' bit that's about it.

I don't know if I suffer with anxiety, I probably do. I hate talking to people, I'm not very confident, I don't step out of my comfort zone. I'm always worried that something bad will happen, like a tyre will burst going down the motorway or I'll be attacked walking home from work, the things that are rare I'm always thinking it will happen to me. DH always says were normal, that thing is not going to happen to us.

I'm wondering if it's had anything to do with DS being born just over a year ago as to why it's started again? But no idea why it started before that - could it be this... I was only 17 when it started, stopped around 19 when I moved. I moved out of home at that age as my DM wanted to move away but I wanted to stay as had job and at the time a bf (who's now my DH) so she moved away and I moved in with bf. I wonder if it's connected to control or time in your life when things are a bit thrown up in the air?
Then I moved into a flat with bf and it stopped. Then around 5-6 years later it's started again. Starting in the last 6-12months or so.

Thank you for replying.

It doesn't really bother me though sometimes i say in my head 'enough now fgs, stop it' bit that's about it.

I don't know if I suffer with anxiety, I probably do. I hate talking to people, I'm not very confident, I don't step out of my comfort zone. I'm always worried that something bad will happen, like a tyre will burst going down the motorway or I'll be attacked walking home from work, the things that are rare I'm always thinking it will happen to me. DH always says were normal, that thing is not going to happen to us.

I'm wondering if it's had anything to do with DS being born just over a year ago as to why it's started again? But no idea why it started before that - could it be this... I was only 17 when it started, stopped around 19 when I moved. I moved out of home at that age as my DM wanted to move away but I wanted to stay as had job and at the time a bf (who's now my DH) so she moved away and I moved in with bf. I wonder if it's connected to control or time in your life when things are a bit thrown up in the air?
Then I moved into a flat with bf and it stopped. Then around 5-6 years later it's started again. Starting in the last 6-12months or so.

Sorry double posted.