Going back to study after breakdown...

[Neverletmego27]

Hi

I am just posting for a bit of support. In Summer 2014, I had what the psychologist described as a 'psychotic breakdown'. I have bpd, clinical depression and the symptoms of ptsd.

I have been signed off sick since Summer 2014, which is when I graduated from my undergraduate degree. I have recently taken out a bank loan and am going to study an MA this year. I start on Monday. But I am sick with fear. I am so scared of it and feeling unworthy as well as being hit with lack of motivation most days and severe mood swings. I am terrified that I won't be able to complete the course, get the work and everything else done, keep up with the housework etc. I am a single mum and have fibromaylgia too.

I have really lost my confidence and put on a lot of weight thanks to my risperdone. Has anyone else ever returned to study/work after a breakdown? How did you cope? I am having a huge stressy moment thinking I've not read the module outlines etc etc yet. Help!

I returned to study after a breakdown.
I had a full on psychotic episode that lasted months when I was 19, I had completed the 1st year of a degree course.

I actually rejoined the same degree course to try to complete it, but had to discontinue because I was too fragile.

I found it easier to go into a mindless job... First as a warehouse packer, then as an office receptionist, which I did for years.

Once I felt it was right for me, I took up a 3yr creative degree in my mid twenties. I now condider myself professionally successful in this creative profession, and am also a proud mum :)

So basically don't give up on your dream, but don't rush yourself. Taking care of yourself should be your priority.

Oh wow that's so good to hear something positive :)

I had a psychotic episode too. They are attributing this to bpd. All in all, the psychosis lasted about 8 months. I attempted suicide twice in the post psychotic depression stage. I know what you mean about being too fragile. I think the pressure of my degree was the tipping point for me, so I am planning on being extra careful this time.

Congratulations on getting as far as you have done :)

See how your MA goes to begin with, hopefully all good, and don't be too hard on yourself.

Glasshouses I think you made a good choice to go back. I was out of things for 18 months and towards the end, my mood was effected (affected?) by thoughts that I wasn't good enough and I ended up self harming because I'd lost all sense of purpose. Seeing your tutor and CpN is a good move, I think. I used to see my CpN weekly but now see her monthly in honesty. I hope it works out for you.