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Separating reality with depressive/anxious thoughts

6 replies

KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth · 21/09/2015 10:53

I have depression and anxiety, with disassociation/derealisation.

I'm in a slump at the moment and am very low. I am having trouble understanding what is an appropriate reaction to things.

Today, I was asked for directions by a stranger. I told them. Then I couldn't stop thinking about it and felt super anxious until I got home and could check a map that I was correct.

I am also feeling really really low about friendships and relationships. I have tried really hard to be friendly with the mums at school, I find socialising SO hard and it is way out of my comfort zone approaching mums at the gate and saying hi. I prefer to hide myself away. I have tried to be sociable, I tried organising drinks out, (using facebook, so I know I reached people) and no one turned up. This happened 3 times. I have just seen a picture on FB on a good friend (so I thought) wall, of about 15 school mums from my sons class including my good friend, at an event I was not included in.

I feel utterly broken by this. All the mums in the picture are ines j have made an effort to chat to, always say hello, they were invited for my drinks out etc.

So it is ok to feel sad about being unpopular, right? I don't know whether my reactions are normal. I feel like hiding away and never trying to talk to anyone ever again, which i guess is extreme. But it really hurts not to be liked. My younger don't get invited to parties either, cos at their age it is the mums who are friends get together and invite the children along. Or maybe no one likes my children either.

I have done CBT in the past which I didn't find helpful but am starting a new course with a new therapist this week so maybe that will help.

I am falling and falling and I don't know what to do...

OP posts:
Sheepymooves · 26/09/2015 20:01

How are you OP?

Khalessi · 27/09/2015 11:26

I feel so sad for you, I've been hurt in a similar way. It's not nice is it?
Socialising can be really hard, I too find the school gates tough going and keep myself to myself. Sorry I haven't got anything constructive to say but didn't want to read and run.

KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth · 27/09/2015 18:40

Thanks. I'm doing ok. Trying to surround myself with positive people.

OP posts:
Sheepymooves · 27/09/2015 21:31

I get like this all the time and it IS hard separating anxious thoughts from reality.

What helps me is thinking that no one really cares about anyone's life except their own, family and very close friends. So really there is no 'they' re. the school mums: and they'll all have their own insecurities.

Has your DS just started?

KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth · 28/09/2015 07:25

My eldest is in year 6! And my son (the class all the mums went out) is year 3. And I've never been to a Christmas meal or social occasion with any of them...

To be fair, I am kinda weird and I think sometimes people just can't find the energy to deal with weird!

OP posts:
Merrybertie · 28/09/2015 07:42

I like weird people - I think they're far more interesting than ',normal' people. If you were at my DCS' school I'd want to be your friend. I probably wouldn't have the guts to say hello to you though (I've had a similar experience of the dreaded school gates) so maybe that's what's happening - people who want to be your friend are too shy. I now go for the head down pick kids up and get out approach.

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