Ignored

[Jemima14]

Why do people ignore me when I'm depressed. I don't understand it. I'm not a needy person, Its not like me to ask for help or to even be burdensome with my issues (most of the time). I've been sliding downhill for the past couple of weeks and have pretty much fallen out with everyone because they've all brushed me off, almost like, if we just ignore your problem it'll go away. I give alot of ear time to other peoples problems, what is wrong with me thats its just thrown back in my face.

I'm really down, I've posted a few threads on here but not got many replies. I don't know why I bother now. I feel like I am really sick and i have no where to turn to. I have turned to all the usual places, doctors, therapist, support group, family, friends, and everyone has just done the same, brushed it off....... I just dont know what to do now.

Sorry to hear this Jemima but I'm pretty sure I replied to one of your posts. I think one of the reasons there aren't many replies on the MH threads is because often people are struggling so much themselves that they can't reach out to others. This is certainly the case for me and I only usually post when I'm ok, as my depression fluctuates a great deal.

Do you have a baby - sorry if I'm mixing you up with someone else. Don't really want to say anything more as you might have answered any queries I raised in another post to you.

Happy to talk some more if you want to post again.

Thank you for replying. I didn't only mean here, I ment mostly in my life. I honestly don't get it. I don't know if its that I am coming across as just struggling but managing, or just totally bat shit that nobody wants to go near me. And the truth is, I am in deep shit. my mood is low, my brain is set to end it all, and my heart knows that if i could just get some perspective I could try to make it better. I am dumbfounded that the people who say they care & love me & my child, just turn their backs when I am in need. I never do that to anyone. I am always there, always supportive, so it just cuts all the more deeper when people treat me like I really am off the deep end and turn their back.

I am not sure that is exactly what I am trying to say. I know others who click on here are also struggling, and thats why not many replies. i just feel that I am trying and reaching out & getting nothing back. In ALL aspects of my life. And I honestly wonder, what is it about me, that people dont take to.

I just want to be well, emotionally stable, a strong parent for my 1 year old, and it seems out of my grasp right now and that makes me very sad....

i think it's true that many of us only want to hear good news. But mn is usually good at being comforting. Do you go to mum and baby groups ? It might be worth your while to open up to someone there as you will have a lot in common. Keeping busy helped me thru tough times in my life and going out of the house into open air especially a park always lifted a weight off my head. It sounds as if you are a giver and are being used by takers. Maybe cool off if these friends are not reciprocating. If you make the decision to back off you feel more in control. Keep posting here as someone will always respond.

Hi honey iv not been on the mh page much lately as said above had alot going on myself, but i didnt wanna not reply.

I often feel exactly like that, that people brush it off and people who havent experienced it themselves often do because they dont understand. My counsellor recently said to me that i direct alot of that anger n rejection at mysekf n make it my burden n it seems like u maybe do the same. She told me to try and write down who im actually angry at so that im not dealing with it all. If i were you id be angry with the doctors for not taking you seriously and push them to take notice.

Your head is telling you to run away because its easier than dealing with the hurting. But you have a baby that needs you to listen to your heart and love them. Forget other people, be mad at them, forget them, you have a 1 year old that loves you more than anybody else in the universe. Whenever you feel like ending it just look at them and remember they will ALWAYS be there for you no matter what.

Try and find something to take your mind off things or clear your head, for me its going for a walk near the river near my house, i find the water soothing, like everythings being washed away. Maybe try going to the park? Or a play group?

If you ever need to talk things out pm me on here and ill always listen.

Thanks amarma & KitiKati, I was getting out alot, mum & baby groups / playcentres, really trying to be active & keep busy, and I felt I was doing well, but I've just had what feels like a series of 'falling out' with my family. The people I'm talking about aren't friends, there my family, who I am just so dissapointed in. Each time I pick myself back up & carry on & keep trying, but the most recent fight I had with my sister has just floored me. I'm finding it so hard to get up, dressed, washed etc. My baby is so clingy, I can't put her down, and when I do she just cries, so its hard to do anything. My schedule has gone out the window so I don't even have an hour or two in the evening to myself. My back is very sore and I'm just in pain all day picking her up & down.

I am just really struggling to pick up the pieces AGAIN. I am so let down & hurt. I spent the day yesterday crying in my daughters face, and I was rough with her once or twice in the way I picked her up or spoke to her. I hate this. I don't want to be this mess. I don't want to be this broken & I hate that Im a shit parent, when she means the whole world to me. I feel so awful that I've fallen out with my whole family, and the only way to patch it up with them is to agree to let them ignore & dismiss me, and treat me badly.

Its stupid, I feel like all I need is a hug, a few kind & supportive words from someone, someone to look at the situation & give me perspective on it.. Why am I unable to do that for myself? I am worried, my state of mind is so low.

I know I should get out more, but I can't seem to even want to right now. I physically can't put myself togther, and I don't think I could even mentally put a 'face' on for other people, to have a conversation.......

Hi Kitikat, I think I do turn that anger in. I am very angry at times. I read somewhere that anger is an appropriate response to injustice. And I feel that its true, I am angry because I have had a lot of shit to go through & Im angry that I'm unwell & my life circumstances are so dire. I will try & sit down & write it out. Thats one of my problems though. I have no 'me' time. Or its probably more true that I don't use my time as best I could. I never have a break from my child, I'm a single parent, she's very demanding & clingy, the times I do get to myself are cooking or cleaning or zoning out via tv/net. My energy is so low. Every evening I say, tonight I will have a shower, when my baby has gone down. And then when she does, after a long battle, its 9pm, dishes have to be done etc & I'm too tired. I feel like I'm just a concrete weight.... I wish someone could fix me.

so sorry to hear this op. Are you a scapegoat for your family? Since they are affecting you so -vely , without telling them, can you decide to disengage? Making decisions empowers you. Back strengthening exercises are available on the internet. You and dd can lie on the floor and follow along with a program on the computer. Do you use a crib or co sleep? Can you lie down with dd and rest while she drops off to sleep ? It's essential you find a support group for you and dd's sake. You can fix yourself in small ways at your own pace.