I really don't know what I'm doing anymore.
I'm struggling and no one seems to understand, we moved back to my hometown in May due to my hubby being discharged from the forces and initially it was an exciting time, we were gonna be close to people after 10 years of not being but the trouble is it's not as good as we hoped it would be, my hubby seems to have lost his motivation and hasn't found another job due to his health problems and I just feel as though everything is down to me to hold it together.
I have suffered with depression on and off for years and after all the changes that have happened lately it's sent me whirling back into the black ness and I just can't do it, I have tried to get a job but struggled as when it's come to actually going to the job my anxiety kicks in and I'm sick, shaky and just can't face going, my moods are bad and I just want to hide away from my husband and children. I decided to go back to the doctors the other day and spent the entire time crying and shaking whilst trying to talk to the doctor about how I've been feeling. She has signed me off for a month and referred me to counselling but no idea how long that is going to take. The trouble is I just feel like I'm losing it, my hubby is hardly speaking to me and when he does it's generally snapping at me for something or another. He says he understands but then he does something that proves he doesn't get it at all. I feel like I've them all down because I can't hold down a job without turning in to a wreck, I'm sat here shaking as I write this. I just don't know what to do anymore. How do I get my hubby to talk to me properly and help me? im lost!