I'm at the point where I feel I'm self harming but not physically. I'm indulging in behaviour which punishes me. I know what the outcome is but I'm doing it anyway. A lot of it is sexual. I feel ashamed. It's hard to explain but I feel blank like I'm loosing myself I feel like nothing. Worthless.
I like the blank, numb feeling the pain brings. Then sadness. Then I go back into the cycle of self abuse.
I'm so lonely and disconnected.
I feel dissociated. I've done some awful things.
Can anyone help me?