Tried so hard to stay positive but i just can't cope anymore and don't know what to do.
Ive been diagnosed with a rare chronic illness two years ago. I get very fatigued and have muscle weakness on my diaphragm and some of my limbs.
I have an 9 year old daughter who we think has aspergers but can't get anyone to listen to us because she does not present in the classroom so aside from putting a camera in the home its hard to get taken seriously. But whatever even if she doesn't what is clear is that she has severe anxiety that effects lots of aspects of her life and her anxiety at home is getting out of control. We've tried so hard to access support but we just get sent to a parenting class. Where actually we need real emotional support for my daughter.
She has major melt downs that can get physical. I have to sleep in her bed every night because she cannot sleep alone no matter what we do. If we try and get her to sleep without me she will just relentlessly come out of her room and have melt downs. I have to carry her into the car because she's convinced her teacher hates her and doesn't want to go to school. This leaves me exhausted and makes my condition worse.
I have a 16 year old daughter who is also struggling to cope with the stresses of life. I can no longer go out with her as she's embarrassed of my wheelchair and refuses to help me. She will actually make a huge scene about it if i ask for her help. She's struggling at school and struggling with her own mental health with so much going on at home. Every conversation i have with her is negative. Every time i try to talk to her its 'not right now mum', 'leave me alone' Every positive i give you her to try and build the relationship back up she will turn into a negative. I just feel like she hates me and i feel such a failure.
My husband thinks he's helping but he very likely has aspergers himself and really struggles to understand the emotional support I or the girls need. This just leads me to feeling frustrated and like I'm really on my own with it all. Sometimes i feel it would be just easier to cope on my own as the frustration of 'nagging' at hime will go and i can just get on with it.
I know what my daughters both need but I don't have the energy it all takes and end up failing in what I'm trying to achieve. I feel like I'm slowly dying physically sometimes and sometimes i feel like i just want to speed it up!
Then i know my children need me but sometimes i just feel broken and that they would be better of with someone to care for them that actually works. Its just am impossible situation and i don't know how to manage