Anxiety and my DD

[MotherOfDragon]

I am diagnosed with GAD and am taking medication and undergoing CBT.
My mother is fairly anxious but nothing I would say has influenced me. However my DD is now 5 and showing signs of anxiety.

I am really struggling with how to help her - If I am feeling low I put a 'face on it' whilst she is there, I never speak about it and I don't think it affects her so it's not a matter of learnt behaviour.

Does anyone have an anxious child and how do they deal with it?

I wonder if never speaking about it is actually helpful? She is very very likely to have picked up on lots of non verbal signals from you that you are anxious, whether that's tone of voice, body language and other behaviour. Children really are little sponges with that sort of thing. Please don't think I am saying it's 'your fault' though! She may have personality traits that could predispose her to it. And it's great you have realised she's doing it. I think keeping your own issues as a 'secret' isn't the best plan. There are age-appropriate ways for her to understand that you have problems with feeling scared or sad at times and that you're getting help with that. I know you feel it's protecting her if she doesn't know but it would be better to acknowledge your problems and maybe share some of the ways that you use to make yourself feel better. Does that make sense?

It does make sense. She is so sensitive though and I don't know how I could explain it to her in a way that suits her age (she was only 5 a couple of weeks ago) and personality.

Can you get her to open up about what situations make her scared or anxious first? Then tell her what you find difficult and how you cope? Maybe try to drop it into conversation naturally while you are both calm and relaxed. There are some books which are suitable for anxious children. I have the 'What To Do When You Worry Too Much' book for my own dd, although she's a bit older at 10. It may be suitable for her if you go through it with her (its also based around CBT techniques). My dd is also really sensitive and it's hard to know how to tackle things but I think it's always better to try and bring things into the open as children nearly always build things up in their head to huge proportions.

thank you I will have a look at the books, thats a great idea.

Good luck