Extremely severe arachnophobia -- worried that its becoming OCD and quite worried

[newnamesamegame]

This probably sounds very trivial in the scheme of things but I have a very very severe phobia of spiders and its beginning to take over my life. Have got to the point where I actually fear going home because I'm worried my house will be full of them, have to work on my computer at home with my feet up for fear of having run underneath my feet, scared to go to the loo on my own etc. Have started filling baths up and leaving them full for hours as in my mind it makes it less likely I'll have one in the bath. I have seriously considered selling my house in order to move somewhere with fewer spiders.

I've always been scared of spiders but its got a lot worse since my marriage broke down and my mum died about 6 months ago. Generally my mental health post the split is holding up pretty well, have had a few recent wobbles and feeling a bit vulnerable but I worry that I'm channelling a lot of stuff into this.

When you are an arachnophobe with a partner its one thing. If you live on your own with a small child its another matter and I am quite scared that I'll have a situation that I won't be able to deal with.

I've been to the GP to ask for support with this and have been told I'm on a waiting list and it will be several weeks until someone gets back to me (by which time spider season will be over probably and it will be a case of dealing with it for next year). I'm also seeing a counsellor privately to deal with the various other sh* I'm dealing with.

Does this sound normal for a phobia or am I in OCD/anxiety territory? And does anyone have any short-term advice for coping with the fear in the absence of anything more serious?

I really feel for you, I am terrified of spiders too. I have a dp which means I can cope as I know he will deal with it, I'm a wreck after seeing one though. I dread going home if he's away too just in case.

You do sound very severe though. Poor you. It sounds like you're thinking about it all the time though, I have to distract myself from it.

Things which help me:
Plug in spider thing
Conkers around house
A spider oil spray around windows/doors

Probably none of them work but I think they do so that's all that matters!

I'm.quite sane really about everything else, spiders turn me pathetic!

I don't know anything about OCD, sorry.

justtheonethen thanks. I wasn't as bad when I knew there was someone I could count on to remove them.

I've tried conkers, tried the plug-in spider thing. Neither worked at all. Have bought the spray but not yet tried because I'm worried about my DD breathing it in but will give it a go tomorrow when she's at school. I am basically thinking about it all the time at the moment. This will subside by October when you don't get as many in the house but at the moment I feel I'm walking on eggshells.

The awful thing is that everyone I know, bar none, basically thinks I should man up and deal with it. I just can't. I can and have coped with a lot of dark and scary stuff in the past few months but I can't get past this.

It's affecting how you function in day to day tasks. I would ask your GP for advice...CBT may help.

Snoozebox I have done, but have been told it will be weeks before I can see anyone. I guess good to get my ducks in a row for the next spider season.

September is torture for me :(

What are you scared of the spiders doing, exactly?

I am sympathetic, as I used to be scared of them somehow getting on my face/hair/body.

I agree, September is awful!

Snoozebox I suppose the "ultimate" fear would be having one on my body but that's never actually happened...

But I go into a sort of panic attack mode if I so much as see one bigger than about an inch in diameter, my body goes cold, my heart-rate speeds up and I involuntarily flail around and knock things over. My heart rate remains high for hours after I've seen one.

There was a big one in my toilet the other day which thankfully my dad was able to remove, but I was so scared of going to the loo after that I had to defecate in the garden. Sorry, I know that's TMI, but it gives you a sense of how bad it is.

I've been sleeping in the living room for over a week after seeing one in my bedroom. I'm actually shaking just typing about them.

I used to be more extreme, what you just said reminded me that I used to not be able to eat anything without checking for spiders/had to have showers with plug in so they couldn't climb up.

You poor thing, have you thought about hypnotherapy? I keep considering it. You have to do something , it's making you miserable.

If you live anywhere near Bristol zoo or London zoo they do courses for overcoming arachnophobia - it worked for me and may sound daft but it's life changing. One lady I did the course with couldn't even look at the word 'spider' and afterwards was able to catch one in a glass with no fuss.

Definitely go back to your GP too - I don't think people who don't have phobias understand how crippling they can be.

duckfilledfattypuss (great name, btw) I have thought about the London Zoo one as that is fairly accessible for me but doesn't that involve aversion therapy? I couldn't put myself through that. I hate them/fear them so much I don't want to put myself in a position of having to try to get close to them.

Hypnotherapy I would happy give a go, ditto CBT...

Tbh just reading this thread is making me anxious/itchy. Im the same as you, I slept on the sofa with newborn (in her Moses) because there was one on the top of the stairs and dp couldn't find it to deal with it. I also almost never sit with my feet on the floor, never ever at home.I can't look at pictures or tv (im a celebrity for example has to be watched with dp who will warn me). I honestly thought it was just down to being genuinely phobic rather than just scared,rather than anything else.
Not particularly helpful OP but basically I'm saying you're not alone.
What's the deal with conkers?I'd Google but im terrified an image may come up.

Ahardman (another great name) conkers are supposed to be a spider deterrent. Old wives tale. Some people swear by them.

Last September I strategically placed them around the house and it had no effect whatsoever. If anything they were worse than usual.

Peppermint oil is supposed to work.

To be honest nothing I've tried actually makes a blind bit of difference....

They don't like something about conkers. I'm.assuming a smell?!

I thought about london zoo too but can't imagine signing up for anything where I would be in a room with a spider.
How does it work duckfilledfattypuss?

Googled it with hand in front of eyes in case of pictures and it says this...

The Friendly Spider Programme (FSP) is an afternoon course, carefully designed to ease or eliminate the condition of arachnophobia ?? fear of spiders. The programme is a combination of cognitive behavioural therapy and hypnotherapy.

The course takes place in the Zoological Society of London's meeting rooms. No animals, photographs or illustrations are used until the end part of the course.
2:45pm: Arrival of participants at the Zoological Society of London Meeting Rooms.
3:00pm: What are we afraid of? How phobias become stuck in our subconscious mind. Group Q&A session with hypnotherapist John Clifford of the Centre of Clinical Hypnosis.
3:50pm: Everything you ever wanted to know about spiders, but were afraid to ask. Talk and Q&A session presented by Dave Clarke, Head of the Invertebrate Conservation Unit.
4:30pm: Break. Beverages and biscuits served in the lobby.
4:50pm: Group hypnosis session by John Clifford.
5:30pm: Visit to the Zoo's invertebrate collection to see our display spiders.
5:45pm: Meeting with British spiders, training in catch-up, and presentation of certificate of completion + chance to meet their Mexican cousins.
6:30pm - 7.00pm: Programme finishes.

Actually seeing a spider is optional.
It's sold out for this year, maybe we could do a 2016 one!

That is going to give me nightmares.Just talking about them freaks me Out.in our house their called the devils spawn because it's been known that someone has said the actually word when I wasn't expecting it and I screamed (in my defence they were also looking at my shoulder so I thought it was a warning ) until i wrote it down here i thought my behaviour was fairly normal,reading back it i realise it probably isn't

Thank you! I did the London Zoo - there's no shocks at all. They start off taking to you about your fears in a very small group (it was 50/50 men and women when I went, interestingly) and they don't use pictures or even say the 's' word as some people have really severe reactions.

They explain why your mind and body react the way they do, and talk about spider behaviour. Then it's hypnotherapy and calming exercises.

The last bit (which I thought wouldn't work) was they took us into a different room to first look at spiders, then in our own time everyone gradually touched the outside of the tanks, and even caught a spider in a glass, again when we felt ready. Every single person did it! We even got to hold a tarantula if we wanted, which was amazing. I did it five years ago and still don't even check for spiders when I walk into a room. The whole thing was staffed by therapists and gentle, sympathetic people who have done the course.

Sorry for the essay, it just worked so well for me.

If you're OK with tiny ones, you can try some homemade aversion therapy, it helped me a great deal. I spent an uncomfortable half an hour staring and putting my finger near a very small spider once.

Then I noticed a bigger spider nearby which looked very similar but was just a different size, and didn't have the usual extreme urge to run.

I let spiders live in the corners of my rooms now. They're so still they barely bother me at all. And I like to think they discourage other, bigger spiders from moving in.

justtheone sounds great up until the "Meeting with British spiders" bit....

You see the thing about this programme is that is sounds great for people who are just a bit freaked out by them and need reassuring that they aren't going to bite you etc.

But for someone like me for whom its nothing to do with any rational fear, nothing to do with being bitten etc, just a very deep-seated irrational terror I don't know if its worth it.

I remember Caitlin Moran did it with one of her daughters and wrote it up for the Times and was saying by the end they were both stroking a tarantula and talking about how cute and loveable it was.

I know that I would never be able to get to that place and that moreover I wouldn't actually want to get to that place. I never, ever want to be within six metres of a spider and if I could eradicate the entire species via nuclear holocaust I would. I know that makes me a bad person with zero concern for the rest of the ecology etc. But I just hate them and want them to disappear. No amount of "getting to know them" or anything will deal with that.

I think its going to have to be CBT or hypno. Or moving to a brand new house :(

Sorry justtheonethen, I see you found the information while I was typing! That's the one I did.

newnamesamegame, I'm exactly the same - I still don't love spiders, I don't want to hug a tarantula and I still think they're odd little bastards.

But I simply don't see them any more, when before I spent Septembers looking into the corners of any room before I walked in, couldn't reach into a cupboard without checking it with a torch first, and refused to clean the bathroom at all. I have slept on the landing, the sofa and once on the stairs (ouch!) Any bug over the size of a 10p piece would make me cry and shake. I promise you're not alone. If you don't want to go to the zoo, please try a sympathetic hypnotherapist. It's a horrible thing to be so stressed all the time.

if I could eradicate the entire species via nuclear holocaust I would. I know that makes me a bad person with zero concern for the rest of the ecology etc.
Me too. Doesn't make you a bad person. Sounds bloody reasonable to me

newnames, I feel the same but I think it might be worth a try, my rationale is if I didn't think I would cope seeing them I just wouldn't go in to the last bit.
It does involve hypnotherapy.

How scared were you duck?

X post! I'm going to try it in that case.

Dd had a massive one in her room the other day, big black thing about the size of an egg!,!!! DH was at work and the kids were screaming so I had to catch it. It took me ages as every time I got near it it would run around causing me to scream and scream and run away, managed to eventually put a big glass over it but couldn't pick up the glass so left it all say u til DH got home to take It down the road.

My fear has got a lot worse this year after I was bitten by a tiny spider while I was working and my whole hand and elbow swelled up and the bite went infected.

Just to say, totally sympathise. September is the worst month of the year for me, and I actually start worrying about it coming up on New Year's Eve, as I'm thinking what will be coming up that year. Crazy.

I have a conker tree in my garden and we place conkers all over the house every year. I have a house full of spiders, so believe me that is bollocks.

Could never do aversion therapy myself as I know it involves being in contact with spiders. Not going to happen.

I'm waiting for some numpty to come along on this thread and say "spiders are more scared of you than you are of them." Or the classic: "Just get a glass and a piece of paper and take them outside."