CPN advised me to limit contact with DM

[Apathyisthenewblah]

I have been suffering from severe PND, anxiety and depression for nearly 2 years. I can have months of functioning pretty well followed by biiiig crashes.
I'm currently in a big crash. After almost a year on paroxetine so I could breastfeed I have now been switched to sertraline (and also prescribed beta blockers and diazepam for insomnia and panic) which hopefully will kick in soon. I'm also due to restart CBT.
To get to the point. I have quite a problematic relationship with my mother. Since my fathers death a decade ago she has turned to me for a lot of emotional support and feels that I should be fine as I have a lovely family life. (I do have a lovely DH and DD but tell that to my brain chemicals!). Every time I see her she tells me how difficult her life is alone and makes me feel guilty that I am not. If we plan a family trip or anything family related she asks to come too and I feel incredibly awkward saying no.
She looks after DD one day a week and is a great grandmother but I just do not have the resources to cope with her emotional demands. She also self medicates with alcohol to an extent I am very worried about.
My lovely crisis nurse gently suggested that I limit contact with my Mum to social meeting outside my home for short periods. I just feel so guilty but the last day I spent with her, her constant pity at being alone made me feel suicidal (literally, not figuratively). Any advice would be so appreciated?

You need to put yourself first Apathy She is putting herself first every time she is so self absorbed when you need support.

Obviously the CPN was just advising you, but anyone who causes you this level of distress is bad for you.

Family can affect our mental health significantly. Every person is different but I got similar advice, I recovered quite quickly with time away from family. I felt freed.

Good luck with whatever you decide

Thanks for the gentle response Merde. I feel such an odd mixture of sad, guilty and ashamed when I think about it. She can and has been a lovely mum but has mental health problems of her own which I cannot force her to deal with even though she would benefit from help

I was taught families can FOG our decision making:
Fear
Obligation
Guilt

How about putting in some boundaries and creating a bit of space between you two? It doesn't mean cutting her off forever, just making some room for you to get better.
You are right, we can't force someone to help help or change, we can only change our response to it. I sense you feel responsible for her and her happiness? Only she is responsible for that.
You both sound like lovely people, you'll get past this.