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Feeling a bit wobbly

9 replies

nannyk · 29/11/2006 00:59

For those that followed the sexual abuse thread a while ago, I said how my grandfather had abused me for years. He finally died on Sunday. I haven't slept since then. I feel both furious that he never got any kind of punishment, huge regret that I didn't tell anyone, and just terribly sad that this is all still affecting me. I thought him dying would just end all of the feelings about the abuse, but actually it seems to have made them worse. I can't talk to anyone in real life, so I am just wanting a couple of cyber hugs and to know that I am not alone in this.

OP posts:
Quootiepie · 29/11/2006 01:06

{{hugs}} I didnt see the thread, but feel your pain. My ex abused me for 2 and a half years since I was 15, and I did nothing about it, and now feel its too late. {{hugs}} have you sought councilling? (sorry if you have, I havnet seen the thread) {{hugs}} xxx

Quootiepie · 29/11/2006 01:07

*havent

fortyplus · 29/11/2006 01:16

You can't change what has happened in the past, but you need to confront your feelings before you can move on.
I'm not surprised that you're feeling so confused. I presume that a part of you loved your Grandfather despite what he did to you?
Do you think of him as a horrible person, or was it that one aspect of him that is so despicable?
Was he your Mum's or Dad's father? If your Mum's then maybe he abused her, too?
Maybe he was abused himself as a child - many abusers have been.
There are so many issues here, but he's only just died so that is why your feelings are so raw.
Lots of questions - sorry.
My heart goes out to you - a man who should have been a loving and protective carer to you has abused the trust placed in him im the most hateful way.
Love to you xx

abitmessedup · 29/11/2006 01:29

I'm so sorry. By coincidence, I just started a thread about being sexually abused and not dealing with it. I can't imagine how you are feeling but you are not alone. I don't have any words of comfort or advice at the moment as I have no idea how to deal with this. I can offer you a sympathetic shoulder and a big hug though {{hugs}}. I'm really sorry.

ashamedshepherd · 29/11/2006 01:44

{{hugs}} you are not alone. Feel proud that you are a survior.

fortyplus · 29/11/2006 01:44

Sounds as though you guys can offer eachother a lot of support. Don't be tempted to post personal e-mail addresses, but why don't you sign up to CAT - it's on the acronym list. Then you can pour your hearts out in private. XXX

abitmessedup · 29/11/2006 20:41

How are you today, Nannyk?

nannyk · 30/11/2006 02:22

hi abitmessedup, thanks for your message, in fact thanks everyone for replying. I am ok. Slept last night after taking about 10 herbal sleeping tablets but do feel a little better for it. I am so busy at work I haven't really had time to sit and think. Thats a good thing. The funeral is on friday, I am not going as I am abroad. I have spoken to my gran, she is of course a wreck. i will add more tomorrow, I need to feed some babies. Thanks again, it means a lot to me that you have all cared to reply.

OP posts:
abitmessedup · 01/12/2006 16:12

I know you're away, but just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you today.

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