Only my daughter is keeping me going at the moment

[footprints]

I don't know what to say. Embarrassed to be posting here, but need to know someone is out there. I#ve been so depressed lately, my emetophobia is beyond bad and I don't know how to keep going. I just want to curl up in a corner for the rest of time. There doesnt seem any point to anything. I love my daughter, but even then, the emetophobia means I can NEVER look at her without checking she doesn't look sick. She's as healthy as an ox, only ever had two bugs in her whole life and yet I worry every single moment. I don#t want to eat at all, in case it makes me ill. Even drinking a cup of tea, I worry that the cup is not clean.

I can't go on like this. I know I'm depressed but the doctor just refered me to a psychologist who was terribly expensive and didn#t help at all. We're not in the UK, I have no friends at all who would listen. My mum is a 4 trains and a plane ride away. Mumsnet is all I have right now.

Sorry

not much help here - but just wanted to say something - maybe there is an online support group for emetophobia ?

Have you tried to rationalise what it is that actually upsets you ?

there are a few people on mn who suffer from it, there have been threads with good support and advice..do post about that too

some ads help with anxiety/panic

Thanks, yep, I've been a regular on emetophobia threads. I find that reading about it makes me obsess more though (if it's possible for me to obsess MORE).I've had this phobia for 20 years now, I gues sit's with me for life. That's part of why life doesN#t seem worth much. Who the hell wants a life that consists of 24 hour worrying about illness. It's just one more thing added to everything else

I think there are some books with cbt self help..but i guess you've tried those?

and ads

Footprints, I have a phobia about my dcs getting ill, not because of vomiting but just because I am so fearful about them dying. I sometimes find that sharing my fears actually feeds them and makes things worse - I'm better off distracting myself.

I so wish I could reach out to you. It's horrible to suffer from anxiety.

Footprints, I used to suffer from severe emetophobia, I still have it but it is quite mild at the moment. I do have a worse phobia about needing the loo when using transport, this makes it difficult to be spontaneous as I need to take Immodium before hand. Although this isn't exactly the same it does affect my life so I understand how you feel.

My emetophobia calmed down after my pregnancy as I was very sick (was in hospital), then the year after I got a tummy bug and threw up again, something that hadn't happened to me for years. For some reason this made the fear less I suppose as I got used to the feeling and I can deal with it now, although very rarely have chicken/seafood when eating out to "feel" safe.

You do need to see someone, there are some therapists who will counsel over the phone, try looking on the internet. All I can say is at my worst (after food poisoning in my early 20s) I didn't work for about 4 months and barely ate...BUT I came through it and managed to lead a fairly normal life. Don't beat yourself up and give yourself a break, the fact that you are caring for your daughter is amazing, some people don't manage that! You are brilliant, tell yourself this every day and be proud of every small step you take, even if it is just having a cup of tea or a sandwich!

We are all here for you!

Rocklover, I used to be the same re journeys and I'm over that now.

Thanks so much for your sweet replies. Sometimes the phobia is worse than others, and now it is bad. At the moment I just want to go back to England but my dh really wants to stay here.

Can you not come back for a break?