"life only deals you as much as you can cope with - discuss

[MistressMiggins]

what bollocks

who decided what we can cope with

try this:
exH buggering off with mistress & moving nrly 3 hrs away so I get no support at all & leaving me with 3 1/2 ur old and 18mth
my mum develops angina + now possible breast cancer

what happens if I die?
my kids will have to move to other end of country away from paternal & maternal GP to live with ex & slag partner who at the mo wont bath them or read to them - and on day trips, cant be arsed to come up here with my ex.
why he puts up with that I dont know

I was a doormat who looked after him like a king & he still left

whoever told u that is talking a load of crap

have been told it by several people

feels like crap

it's a load of moo poo (to coin an Iklboo phrase that I love)

If I could deal with the shit life dealt me surely I wouldn't be in antidepressants

Absolute bullsh*t. Life frequently deals you more than you can cope with and you just have to get through it and focus on the fact that things will get better eventually. That said, sorry to hear about your situation. Can you appoint a good friend/relative as a guardian and get life insurance to cover the costs of bringing up the children. My mum had breast cancer about 4 years ago and is fighting fit today. It is a shock, but do not assume that it will end in tragedy...

how can I appoint someone else as guardian?
surely if I die, the kdis will go to my ex?

my mum is not strong I feel & my dad has diabetes so not the best of health

am at the top of the pyramid with parents & children to look after and noone to support me - sounds selfish but its such a burden

I was just thinking that if there are good reasons for him not to have custody of the children, then you might be able to get someone else to look after them. But I'm not a family/probate lawyer, so you'd need to find someone who knows about this area. I would have thought your parents would potentially have a good claim if you had validly based concerns. Just a thought for you to consider...

Yeah, I agree, bollocks.

Right up there w/all those other dumb arse platitudes like, 'What's for you won't pass you,' and 'Just when you're not expecting it . . .' (the Spanish Inquisition comes and bites you in the arse).

It is bollocks. I've been told it by numerous people. Actually whatever your hand in life you often have very little choice but to cope. I think people think they;re being nice when they say it (you know "ooh you're so strong") but I always think they sound smug!

Sorry you're having a tough time.

Sorry - didn't read the bit about your parents properly. The first question is - is there anyone else who would take on your children provided there was money to fund their upbringing? If your dh's new girlfriend doesn't want to take them on and he is under her thumb, you might find it surprisingly easy to keep them away from them. On the other hand, let's just hope that it never becomes an issue!

Sigh - if only it were true. I feel like I'm dealing with more than I can handle right now.

mumpbump

might look into that
b4 ex left, my brother & wife had legal guardian of kids if we both died.
my parents & brother both live within 10 miles of me

my in laws would not have seen my children since April if I didnt invite them to stay with me

will definitely look into that

MM, as others have said 'what a load of bollocks'... Both my parents have died in there mid fifties in the past five years; my rock solid - so I thought - marriage has broken up and my beautiful dd has gone completely off the rails... I am not coping well but I have to cope. Some one recently said to me (and how I didn't hit her I don't know) "You don't get what you want in this life, you get what you need" WTF????

Completely relate to your worries about having no one to support you. Can I suggest (and I know that this is difficult) that you start building a support network. I know it seems calculating but I think it is a necessity. It will take some time (which isn't ideal) but we all need a support network.

I am sorry to hear about your Mum. Please don't focus on the worse possible outcome although I know it's hard not too. {{{{}}}}