Mental health is destroying my life.
I have hopes and dreams and as every day comes to an end I feel more of them are being destroyed.
Events, holidays and days out I would have previously loved are no longer possible because of fear, panic and pure dread.
My DP wanted to treat me to a holiday abroad, I was so excited but also I know it won't happen, as this debilitating illness will not let me enjoy my life.
I have a meeting in a few hours and I feel as though I am going to have my wisdom teeth extracted! My stomach is in knots, my heart is racing and I am so hot- it is just a meeting that will last 15 minutes max.
I can't go on like this, my daughter starts school next month and I have enrolled back at uni and being late and skipping days is not an option.
I have been to the GP and they sent me for an ECG to check I was in a fit state for beta blockers, I couldn't go through with the ECG so unfortunately nothing has come of it.
I did enrol on a healthy minds scheme which starts next week, although the I am terrified I won't make the two bus journey to the classes.
Surely there's more to life than this? I am so sick of pushing everyone away and letting everyone down... 