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Clearing out old boxes found pics of abuser

2 replies

EyesDoMoreThanSee · 29/08/2015 16:12

Just that.

I have to clear out my old bedroom at my mums for building work, its a task that is long overdue. I haven't lived at home for twenty years but I can't just throw out the boxes, I knew I had to sort folder by folder, shoebox by shoebox, binbag by binbag to find items I wanted to keep.

I knew some of it would be upsetting, childhood items which are reminders of losing my dad young, hundreds and hundreds of family photographs - mostly out of focus, school days and bullies I had forgotten. I found my high school diary. I also knew that having battled depression on and off since teenage years there would be possible triggers - but I truly hadn't appreciated just how sad I was as a teenager. Living in a remote village there just wasn't anyone to talk too (pre internet as well).

What I hadn't expected (because I thought that they had been destroyed) was dozens of photographs of a man who abused me for the first two years I was at University. I was beaten, raped, tormented, mobiles didn't exist - very little awareness about violence, he convinced many other students I was a liar. He had most of my bank details and being older convinced me that he could take the money from my account if I didn't do as he said. He slowly cut me off from all the other students, convinced me to move out of halls into a flat with him. I was a fairly serious pot smoker at the time, he had a ready supply if I did what he said. He took multiple photos of me naked - and swore he kept a copy of the negatives. Those pics of me - aged 18/19 - I found today. Utterly ashamed. I only got away due to a fluke set of circumstances and an older student ensuring the University intervened with a restraining order. I had actually managed to forget pretty much everything but today brought it back.

Now happily married and 2 small DC it feels like a lifetime ago. But I am struggling - can't explain to DH, I've been in and out of therapy since I was a teenager, the university agreed to fund some after I escaped this bastard. But I'd say I have a tentative grasp on sanity at the best of times.

OP posts:
amarmai · 31/08/2015 23:48

please talk about this to a qualified person. Wish you the best.

PrincessHairyMclary · 31/08/2015 23:54

I don't want to read and run. That must have been very shocking for you Flowers

Would burning it help to have closure or keep it and talk to a professional about it

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