Don't know what to do, really struggling

[Scaredofmyownshadow]

I can't breath, can't focus right, can't think straight.
I can phone the out of hours cpns but I phoned them last week and although they wee nice I just seemed to talk a lot of rubbish and nothing made sense.
I don't know what I need to say, well that's a lie I do know what I want to say but they will just ask if I have the means and when I say no they will just dismiss how I feel and what's in my heads.
I don't even know whether this makes sense, this only thing that makes sense is I want out. :(

Your post Scared is in the early hours of this morning. Assume you aren't sleeping? Can I ask if you are suffering from depression or some other mental illness. I know the absolute torment of depression and I'm really struggling at the moment.

Are you on meds - do you have a CPN and see a psychiatrist? I know how terrifying the suicidal thoughts are (but it's important to remember they are a symptom of depression) It's not that we want to die, we want the pain to stop. I know exactly what you mean about talking to CPN - I have a lovely one, but there's not a lot they can do when you're in the depths of despair, and I've cried down the phone at her many times.

It sounds like you are suffering from anxiety too hence the feeling of not being able to breathe. Do you have an RL support? DH/DP - friends, relatives. Assume you don't have children?

Sorry I can't think of anything more helpful to say but am here if you want to talk............