I am messing up and my head is all over the place. I am currently having an assessment with psychology. They think I have major depression, road and bpd. In the past year, I have had psychosis for 8 months, was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, dd' s Dad (My ex) died and I've had major depression. I take anti depressants and anti physcotics. I am fat, ugly and worth less after all of this. I have a degree and an trying to get a job. But I have a huge gap in my cc thanks to mental health issues. I went somewhere for learning and work today and they had forgotten I was meant to be there.I haven't had an interview in months. I get flashbacks to my psychosis and have nightmares. I have put in for a career development loan to do my masters, but fully expect them to say no (I already have the place). I try my best, volunteer and do yoga once a week, but it's not good enough. I am worth less and not bringing my c.d.s.(7) up right. I have suicidal thoughts and visions of what I'd do to myself. My dd is going away on holiday and I think of using that time to end ny life. I'm in despair at not being able to get a job and feel that my life is over. Mental health issues have ruined my life and I'm not prepared to live with them anymore. I am deflated l, hurt and don't even expect any one to reply to this post. I feel as though I just mess everything up and I don't want t carry on with how things are. It's just too much.