Feel like I'm about to fall...

[spancake]

Hi, I'm not sure why I'm posting this, there's nothing anyone can really do, I just feel so lost. I'm not coping with the pressure of work and parenting and running a home. I have serious Sunday night blues - but it's more than that - the palpitations have started already and I feel sick and on the verge of a panic attack. I don't have much of a support network as my family live 100+ miles away - things with husband are not as good as they could be, work is awful, im completely broke money-wise, battling an ED, i don't really have any friends, I just feel like I'm drifting out to sea...

Hi op, I'm sorry you're feeling this way, have you seen your gp, either about how you're feeling now or in the past? It might be worth a visit and it sounds like you could do with some time off work?? Do you feel you are over worked or do you think the way you are feeling is contributing to feeling overwhelmed at work?

How many children do you have, and what age? What parts of parenting are you finding difficult? And the same question with the housework? Very small solution, but could you afford a cleaner for a few months to at least take that pressure off initially?

I have been on fluoxetine for depression and my ED but found them of very minimal, if any benefit at all and I was on 60mg so I weaned off. before that was citalopram and diazepam - which again I didn't find really helped. I feel such a failure, I only have one DS, he's just turned 4 and is an absolute joy, he's honestly the only thing keeping me going. I just don't feel that I'm doing good by him, I don't have energy to properly play with him, although we are close. I'm so so so overdrawn a cleaner is not possible. We had one for a couple of sessions about a year ago and she left me feeling humiliated by saying - "if it's always going to be this bad, I'll need to ask for more money"- that's how bad it is. I'm I'm going through a restructure at work and I'm now doing the job of 3 people, plus extra responsibilities, if I moan I feel they'll get rid of me next. I'mon the verge of tears 60% of the time, fly off the handle too easily . I just need some time to get myself together...

I really think you need to see your gp as soon as possible and discuss some alternative medication, with possibly something behavioural alongside it- cbt possibly to help you change your coping mechanisms generally?

Do you have a partner? And / or friends/ family close by who can help you out? I really wouldn't worry about the housework at the moment, just get the essentials done, cooking, washing etc.

There are plenty of good threads on here with helpful suggestions for streamlining housework, meal planning etc if you have the energy to search, might be therapeutic reading through for ways you might change how you do things - do less but achieve more maybe. I would give yourself time to address how you're feeling and try and get better with some support before tackling any wider sorting that needs doing in the house. (If you can manage to make one area clear that you can relax in that might help).

It's lovely you sound so positive about your ds- when you have time together on your days off, are you able to get out for walks and maybe go swimming? Simple things most children enjoy that might also relax you?