I struggle a lot of smells, but don't usually know it until it happened.
I have a major fear of me smelling bad and I do overcompensate with body lotions, perfumes, deodorants, in the house I have loads of plug ins and when the cats not about then I can have candles on.
On Friday my psychologist brought in herbs/essential oils for me to smell to see if I could find a comfort one, but in reality I have been triggered big time.
There was a smell, a musty foresty smell that reminded me of my dad, he would smell like that when he had come back of exercise, his army uniform smelt the same, the places he used to take me smelt like that, but up until then it hadn't been a real smell, but now it is.
It's all over my hands, my handbag, my clothes. I've scrubbed my hands and arms with bleach in the hope the smell will go, I've tried toothpaste, kitchen and bathroom cleaner and nothing has got rid of it, it's making me be sick and have horrendous flashbacks.
I feel so stupid that a simple task that was supposed to help me has made things go so wrong.
My cpn and psychologist are both off next week so I can't talk to them and I told the crisis team today that I didn't need the anymore and they accepted that if I phone them if I'm feeling worse but I all talked out, can't manage to put the right words in a sentence that makes sense.
I hope this makes sense