Wish I could just go, but I'm pregnant

[IAmNothing23]

I'm a complete failure in life! I'm 23 years old, 17 weeks pregnant and I've failed my degree, twice. I'll never have a successful career and my child will suffer as I'll never be able to provide them with the life they deserve.

I have a shaky job history and mediocre GCSE and A level grades. I've been applying for jobs for the last 3 months with no success. I've gone to interviews and I never hear back. I'm trying to avoid going on JSA because I'm ashamed and I've been treated like scum by an advisor when I was previously claiming.

I don't even know what I want in life, what path to go down. I ruined my chances of becoming an artist 9 years ago when my dad told me to give up painting and to focus on my science subjects, which I hated!. I'd always been a talented artist up until then, it was the only thing I was good at.

I don't know where I'm going with this or if it even makes sense.

Maybe I should give my baby up for adoption and then end it.

I don't know what to do, nothing seems to be getting better. Just worse by the year.

Hi IAM so sorry you are feeling like this. Have you spoken to your GP or midwife about how you feel? Hugs

I think you need to speak to your GP or midwife too.

My teachers at school pressured me into taking French instead of music and I regret listening to them every day, I know that feeling well.

I gave up art at a-level too, but then changed schools, restarted my a-levels and ended up doing art at uni. It's never too late. A BTEC would be a good re-introduction into arts education. Or if you don't want to study get. A portfolio of work together and have a look at arts based jobs.

I had a truly horrible JSA lady once. Thankfully I took the plunge again and the next lady was lovely. I think it made a pleasant change for her to actually have somebody who was actively trying to find a decent and appropriate job, as opposed to somebody scraping the bare minimum and then shouting at staff. Try again sweetie x