Forgive Me

[NameChangeforShame]

I just can't do this anymore. They will be better off. Please tell me they will forgive me. It really is the only way. In the long term they will go on in a much better way.

No they won't be better off.
They will keep wondering why you did it and they will grow up with the guilt of not having seen it and not having done enough to help you.
They will miss you.
It will affect them badly for the rest of their lives.
Don't do it.

Good that you're going to talk to them. If you didn't want to wait until you call them, you could always drop them an e-mail. [email protected] is the address. I'm not sure how quickly they get back to you, but might help to be able to get all your feelings out in an e-mail.

Hi there NameChangeforShame

We're so sorry you're feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Best wishes from MNHQ

Dear OP -

you've taken the first step by posting here - please take the next one and speak with your gp or the samaritans.

Every day starts with a small step - please keep yours going xxxx

sending you love and hugs x

If you 'go' there will be a hole in their lives that no one else can ever fill.

Call the Samaritans / other similar group / your GP.

This sounds like 'depression talking' and you could have a good life ahead of you if you give it a chance.

I have had depression in the past, but now I have kids I know this is just never an option for me now, because of what it would do to them.

I don't want it to be an option for you either. You sound lovely.x

Just wanted to add something, if you're still reading OP;

I found this blog post a couple of months ago and have found it quite helpful on the hardest of days. LINK

I've been thinking of you op
I hope you called Samaritans xx

OP.

I hope you have reached out for help.

I have a friend whose parent took their own life. She is far more damaged by that fact and the everyday reality of it than she could ever have been by anything else they had chosen to do.

Take care. x