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Worried sick about my daughter

4 replies

sweetpop · 14/11/2006 12:16

I am at my wits end, I am worried sick.

From the day my daughter was born she was big, she continued putting on weight rapidly as she grew and I admit we had an appauling diet and DH's mum would often walk in with 4 bars of chocolate and give them to her from the age of 3, even when we tried to cut down on fatty food they continued to give her stuff like this.

She has always been very different from the other children, she does not make friends, prefers to be on her own, has always been very babyish for her age. She became obsessed with Barney the dinosaur from about the age of 2 and this carried on until she was at least 9, she had 14 barney teddies and would talk to them, kiss them, arrange them on the couch, say goodbye to them before she left for school "bye bye barney number one kiss bye bye barney number 2 kiss bye bye barney number 3 kiss..." this routine would be performed without fail every morning and every dinner time.

She had a misserable time at primary school, she had no friends (partly her own doing as she would snap at people if they spoke to her and tell them to shut up and go away), she was bullied quite a lot, instances of her being kicked repeatidly in the legs and back, called names, pushed and once she was held by her legs and dragged across the playground on her back by a group of boys. The school were no help.

She developed strange habits at home, she would sit on the floor and rock from side to side, she began talking to objects such as the toilet and her games, she would sit staring at the tv screen in hysterics when it was just the dreamcast that was on (so nothing funny), she even became obsessed with the norwich union advert that was played over and over again on one of sky's game channels and would sit and watch it repeated over and over again.

I was dreading her starting secondry school, I thought she would be bullied badly but when she started she seemed ok, the other kids started to "mother" her and she started to change a little and started acting more "normal", anyway a girl befriended her in year 7, a girl that was completely different to her, gobby, bitchy, hard faced etc...everyone kept telling me there was a sinister reason behind this friendship and I just thought they were pulling my daughter down and sayings he couldn't possibly make a friend. Anyway before the summer holidays my daughter came home crying, turns out this girl had been taking her dinner money off her every day and the teachers had found out, the girl got in trouble and the "friendship" was over, she didnt want to know her anymore. DD was heart broken, the one friend she'd managed to make was using her. Then it turned out that a few of the lads had started calling her names, "beached whale", "ginger bitch" etc and they have also started taking the micky out of the way she walks (with a limp due to her weight).

Anyway the "friendship" with the girl surfaced again but my DD assured me that it was true friendship this time...last friday she came home sobbing her heart out, this girl had been asking her for money again and has even got a friend doing it with her this time too. Again she was found out and the friendship ended again. That night my DD was inconsolable, she went up to her room and I followed half an hour later to see if she was ok and I found her sitting upright on her bed crying in the darkness with sad music playing, I went down stairs and cried my heart out, she's so sad and I'm terriefied she will end up snapping and killing herself.

She now carries a cat teddy around with her, talking to it, telling it off, being a "friend" to it, she's 13 and acts like a 5 year old, I'm so worried about what will become of her. She never goes out, even on a weekend she prefers to sit in the house by herself whilst we go out, I can picture her sat in this house after we die day after day on her own never doing anything.

Please help me, what can I do to help her? is she likely to try and kill herself?

OP posts:
eenysugarplumfairy · 14/11/2006 12:21

sweetpop I am so sorry, I dont know what to say to you but I didnt want this to go unanswered. Take your DD to get some therapy - PLEASE. It could help her immensly. See your GP there are therapists you can go to for only like £5 a visit. Give her lots and lots of love. Is there any way you can help her make friends? By inviting girls over?

eenysugarplumfairy · 14/11/2006 12:22

worrying that your child might kill themselves must be horrendous. I am so sorry. It does sound like she needs to grow up a bit, try doing 'big girl' activities with her.

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 14/11/2006 12:33

I'm so sorry you are going through this . It must be dreadful having to watch your child suffering like this.

I would definitely seek advice from your GP as soon as possible and ask for counselling and whatever other support they can offer. I would probably try and talk to the local education authority about finding decent support for her as well, I haven't been through this so I'm not sure how you would go about that.

It's not surprising your daughter is in a state after the horrendous bullying she has been through - it's no reflection on her or you. Bullying can be extremely damaging, especially for a young girl. I know adults who have suffered workplace bullying and been driven to serious illness - it's completely understandable that your daughter is finding it difficult to cope. I do hope she gets the help she needs. My heart goes out to you, it must be devastating.

k9kuts · 14/11/2006 12:44

i really feel for you and your daughter,my 7yr old niece is bullied at school,and its heartbreaking to see them so upset.im dreading having to send my dd to school,kids can be so cruel.i agree with the last post you should speak to your gp and do some grown up things together and maybe find her a hobby she enjoys were she can meet new friends horse riding or dance classes perhaps?

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