Fog of struggle

[HardenedDad]

Not sure what I'm doing on this site, guess I just can't withhold my frustration, feel scared and numb, I'm an educated man and yet I work hard in the weather and southern heat, I try and try working 6 sometimes 7 days a week. I love my little boy more than I ever thought I could love, kills me to look at him sometimes, he is the sweetest soul and deserves more, he saves my life everyday. Feel like I'm in a fog, finding hard to even put my thoughts in simple context for this post. Instead of screaming out loud I'm releasing it here, I pray for calm seas and wind on my back.

Where are you from op? Sorry to hear to you are having a hard time. Are you a single parent?

Thank you fast, I'm from Louisiana, no I have a wife, I try as much as I can to keep the stress away from the family, showing calmness and strength, that's how I ended up here. I have just gotten to the point of implosion

Louisiana! How did you find mumsnet?! Welcome, anyway.
What is your stress point? Work? Money? Both? :(

Well I was just searching for similar stories on google and ended up here. Not all live in the swamps.....just near them so we do get the net :) Both are stress points. I believe in being great in whatever I do so I'm good at my job however I hate it, stressful and unsatisfiing, the money fluctuates as well. Just feeling stuck, I was in medical school years ago however financial situations caused my to lose that opertunity, something I really enjoyed and regret losing.

Hi Hardened sorry to hear you are feeling like this, it is difficult to vent when you are trying protect family from your own stress, it is a perfect place here to do that.
It is easy to get stuck in a rut when you feel trapped and unable to do a job etc that is truly satisfying.
I have recently been feeling that fog myself, and have been looking into mindfulness and CBT, I am normally a bit flippant towards such things.
However, it has really helped me find clarity on certain things e.g My husband recently left me and my two children.
Maybe have a Google of these subjects and you may find putting some of the ideas into practice could help you gain a little perspective and you may find a way to change your job situation.
And remember your little boy sounds very lucky to have such a loving Dad as you, that's all he needs.
I used to worry that I couldn't provide my DC'S with nice holidays and posh clothes and toys, but then I realised they just need my love and time, even though you work a lot, use your time you do have with your boy well.

It does sound like you need to talk to someone in real life.
Does your insurance cover therapy?
Talking to a professional may help you through sharing your concerns with another and perhaps determining a course of action going forward.