Came off Citralopram 2 months ago and feel so sad all the time

[charliesweb]

I need to talk to someone who understands and I was hoping I'd find that person here.

I have come off Citralopram about 2 months ago because my doctor was keen for me to and I thought it was worth a try.

I had been taking it for about 18 months to treat anxiety related depression. Since coming off I have had good days and bad days, but overall my mood has been low. My husband has noticed the change in me and is keen for me to take the pills again.

About a month after coming off I went back to the doctor hoping we could have a discussion about options including going back on the pills. She basically told me the maybe this was just my personality and I needed to develop ways of living with this. I have registered for counselling, but I know it's a telephone consultation and I am highly likely to only be offered 3 telephone sessions.

Whilst on the pills I was able to develop and use strategies for coping myself, however, despite still using these I can't make the emotions go away.

I've just celebrated my 40th with a big party and people have gone out of their way to make me feel special. Yet here I amid tears feeling so so sad. I feel that I don't deserve all the attention and that people think I'm stupid for having a party. No one had made any indication that that's the case but I can't shake the feeling.

I was on 20mg. I have some left over in the cupboard which I'm tempted to take but I'm worried the doctor won't renew the prescription.

I think I was told to step down gradually and ensure I felt ok for three months before reducing the dose more. I think 6 weeks is very fast to come off.
I was on 30mg. Took me months but I am off it. (My depression was mostly due to work! Quit!)

Took me 3 months to go from 40mg to nothing. Been off them completely about 6-8 weeks I think.

Terrible day today been veering between shouty and weepy.

Am phoning GP tomorrow chances are I won't get an appointment until next week

Sorry to hear about your day Sweetkitty. I'm phoning the GP tomorrow as well. Let me know how you get on.

Will do

Can you ask for another GP? I used to have DrX the mad questionnaire one but changed to DrY haven't seen her much just kept putting in repeats for my Citalopram she did recommended phone CBT but I couldn't go through that over the phone.

I was driving past the doctors and actually stopped and made an appt in person , a week on Friday but I've put a request in for a repeat prescription told her I had come off them gradually but needed to go back on them and have an spot next Friday but can I start on 20mg just now so I can get the side effects over with and be 2 weeks down the line. She's usually quite good and even if she gives me 2 weeks worth.

Feel awful today as well haven't even managed a shower yet

Wow Sweetkitty that's fantastic about the doctor. And well done you for being so proactive getting a prescription. Why didn't I think of that?

I phoned and booked an appointment for a week on Thursday. Unfortunately it's with the rubbish doctor, but I'm determined not to let her blindside me again. What I need is for lots of lovely MN ladies to give me the words to say to her. That really helped when first went to the docs about my anxiety.

I've felt better today. I work term time and I have found I often feel worse in the holidays. I think it's the lack of structure. I had a good day at work. I still feel sad about having such a low mood over my birthday because so many people went to a lot of effort to make it special for me. I feel like I've let them down.

Remember Sweetkitty we will beat this by taking small steps. You've accomplished a lot today so don't beat yourself up about what you haven't achieved.

Well done charliesweb, did you have to go to that doctor? Mine is really lovely that's why she's booked up so much, if I wasn't fussy I could have gotten an spot sooner.

I've taken half a diazepam tonight, got then for when it gets really bad hopefully I'll get a good nights sleep.

I did start by asking for the other doctor but he was totally booked up. There are only the 2 of them at my surgery. I'm not that keen on either of them to be honest. I am determined to be strong and walk out holding a repeat prescription.

Can you not change surgeries? Your doctor sounds a bit different to most ive found they just give you the drugs to get you out of there. My last one was obsessed with those questionnaires I had to fill in one every time I went maybe so they could see I was feeling better

I've struggled today, which seems go back up my theory that I alternate low with better days. Hopefully that means I'm in for a better day tomorrow.
How are you all doing?

Well I've taken my first Citalopram this morning I'm now hiding in bed as I don't want to face the world could just stay here forever

I thought I was getting better but I've plummeted over the last few days. I can't even focus on anything and have had to come home from work. I want to switch the thoughts off that are racing around my head. I'm phoning the surgery back at 2 for an emergency appointment. I can't eat because although I feel hungry when I try to eat anything I feel sick. I can't stop crying.

Hope you feel better soon Charlie take deep breaths

Thank you for responding. I'm back on the citralopram.

I know things will improve because I've seen this cycle before in myself and my sister but I feel such despair.

I know that feelin, it's awful. I find that doing things I enjoy like watching a favourite film helps take your mind of it a little. Anything to distract yourself.