I'm a sinking ship and I don't know how to stop.

[sherbetlemonD]

I'm relapsing- I just know it; and I don't think i'm going to get out this time.

I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety in 2010. Lots of counselling etc and I though i'd got through it- but nope; i'm relapsing. And I don't know what to do.

I live with emotionally and physically abusive parents. They treat me like a slave if i'm honest. I'm not going into detail again; but if people want to read- heres a thread I made last week: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2378123-To-already-be-severely-pissed-off. It doesn't go into full detail of everything but i'm too emotionally, physically drained to write it all down.

And now i've just found out the one person i've trusted in a long, long time is a backstabber and i've had to chuck my job in.

I don't know what to do. I've had my heartbroken by 95% of people in my life- bullies, family...so called friends.

I just want to end it all if i'm honest

Just spotted your post. I'm so sorry things are so awful. Please stay with us. You sound very decent, caring and, though you may not feel it at all, resilient.

I haven't read your other thread but I'm wondering if you have to live with your parents? Emotional and physical abuse is entirely off limits - entirely. Are you getting support from anyone at all? Friend or otherwise?

Being let down is bad enough in any circumstance, but when life is so difficult anyway, it's even worse.

If you're relapsing, please get help. Have you tried different avenues?

Can you get out this weekend, into the sunshine, and take solace in nature? I find her a wonderful friend when I feel let down by others.

Please let us know how you're getting on.

Thank you Eleanor

I'm stuck at home at the moment. I've had advice on other threads and looking at applying for live in work but it just seems like a dream that can never come true.

I'm feeling OK at the moment, I seem to fluctuate a bit so maybe that's my bodies way of telling me to carry on.

I appreciate your reply

Hi sherbet, why do you think that you leaving your awful home situation is a dream? What needs to change for you to make it a reality? I don't know if you sent that email to WA but I hope you did. The life you have now would make anyone depressed but there is a way out, I promise. Get the help you need, please.

I'm sorry you're struggling Sherb

Relapses are not at all uncommon and although it is thoroughly depressing to feel yourself slipping back into ill health try to hold on to the fact that you've overcome a lot of the issues before, so with kindness to yourself and help you can get back to feeling better.

I really think for the sake of your emotional and mental health moving out from your parents home and into a space of your own must be a priority. Are you able to rent a room elsewhere? As you're out of work you may qualify for housing benefit and some councils also have scheme where they will pay the desposit on a private rental for you if that will be tricky to raise the money for.