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Mental health

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Original poster

Do you know what makes you feel down?

15 replies

shadypines · 12/05/2015 15:33

I know obviously that we can feel down for no apparent reason but just wondered if any of you wanted to share/off load the reasons you feel down?

I'm going to write down some shit I've gone through, who knows, I might feel better afterwards!!!

difficult relationship of my DM/DF
DM died fairly recently ago
surgery (benign tumour) few years ago (me)
'forced' out of first marital home by awful antisocial neighbours (one a convicted paedophile
still not happy where I live, most neighbours unfriendly or plain rude (start to wonder if it's me, have to convince myself otherwise!)-
DD health problems ongoing-
both DCs very few friends, which is a HUGE worry for me

I should say there are a lot of good things in my life too but I feel the need to offload today. I've actually shut my curtains downstairs as I am so sick of looking at the grey skies and neighbours houses, I think my neighbours are related to Oompa Loompas actually ( you don't see them go in or out) and when you do they just ignore you

OP posts:

ancientbuchanan · 13/05/2015 00:40

Sorry about this. Can see why you have lots going round your head.

But you have a great sense of humour if you can think if your neighbours like that. Can it help a bit more ?

My triggers are too much busyness, tiredness, stress, and family expectations. I know now I then need to rake a couple of hours for me, to cry, have a bath, get things out. Can you do an equivalent ?

ProfessorPreciseaBug · 13/05/2015 06:36

For me...

NO, and I wish there was something I could do about it. I have a wonderful DW of 32 years, a beautiful bouse, a boat and enough time to enjoy them all, yet somethimes I feel down and fed up for no reason. If I don't take my meds all the time I get very uncomfortable.

I have learned to accept that I can't control my emotions and am coming to turns with it.. slowly.

I hope thwt doesn't sound facetious,

Original poster

shadypines · 13/05/2015 16:14

Thanks Ancient and Prof, I am sorry you get down too. I try to have a cry sometimes Ancient, I did this afternoon but I was conscious of DCs coming home any time and worrying about me ( I should add that I am NOT one of these people who can look good after a cry, I look like one of Dracula's empties for days afterwards!!)

Yes I think I DO have a very good sense of humour, just wish I had the chance to try it out more! Just this afternoon I was pottering in front garden (in the .....sun!) and one neighbour comes out and gets straight in her car, no 'hi' wave or nothing and I shrugged and carried on. Then the NDN comes out to put something bin, now I knew she was going to ignore and go back in her garden but I 'forced' a hello out of her and tried to have a little friendly chat eg did you have a nice holiday? I don't want to be in anyone's back pocket I just want to be friendly and civil iyswim. Also I just feel my children come home to a lonely street where no one says even a 'hi' to them, just gets me down. Sorry to go on I know people on this thread put up with much worse, as I said yest, good to offload.

OP posts:

ancientbuchanan · 15/05/2015 16:30

Sorry not to respond again, was in back to backs and then migraine land.

I have to take the pills...

Our road was a little like that but we gave both children and retirees. So when it came to a jubilee or something, a few of us got together and started a street party of sorts, not on the street but in a local park. Since them we've done more, we carol sing, we've raised money to help an ex inhabitant, the women go out to dinner in a local restaurant once or twice a year. Are there others with children of a similar age you could suggest doing something with in the school hols to get a ball rolling? A Picnic in the park?

I discovered, having run the first jubilee party from my kitchen, that it was all mums and wine. The second, I started it and then moved to a pub. Immediately there was a male interest. Far more people. And they started grunting at each other too.

I live in a city with an art gallery not too far away. So I go yo that for a couple of hours about every three months. Keeps me saner.

And I use MN on a couple of long standing threads.

ancientbuchanan · 15/05/2015 16:32

Forgive typing. Still migraine filled and vision no good.

jimijack · 15/05/2015 16:39

Of course there have been historical triggers.
Some truly horrific things have happened to me over the years.
But
The contraceptive injection started it all for me 25 years ago.

A brief period on ads & I'm better.
Everything has come out ok thank goodness.

KatharineClifton · 15/05/2015 16:48

I've come to realise it's far easier for me to dwell on all the negative things I see around the world, and much more work to focus on the positive things in life. It's a kind of laziness I think (saying this personally - not as a criticism for others suffering). It's far easier for me to focus on the lack of money I have than be thankful for the little I have for example.

I've found mindfulness type techniques help me focus on the here and now - everything that I can be grateful for. And having dogs is a great help - they always focus on the positive and make me laugh.

KatharineClifton · 15/05/2015 16:49

And thinking more, it's learnt behaviour in many ways as my mother has always focused on the negative - which now I see it as an adult helps me to try and be different.

imwithspud · 15/05/2015 16:51

Losing my granddad to cancer 3 weeks ago.
Him not having the chance to meet his second great grandchild who is due next week.
No one outside of family and partner really caring or being there for me during my recent bereavement, leading me to realize that I actually have no real friends and that it's probably all my own fault.
Accidentally trapping my DD's finger in the front door earlier today, fortunately she seems to be okay now - I how ever am still beating myself up about it.
Generally feeling alone despite being surrounded by family and a partner who I know love me to bits.

imwithspud · 15/05/2015 16:53

That said I do generally try to focus on the positive things In my life, and to be fair there are a few I could list. But right now it's proving difficult to not let things get on top of me and grind me down, which isn't great when I'm due to give birth any day now.

KatharineClifton · 15/05/2015 17:04

I'm so sorry for your loss. Just go with it imwithspud - it's natural to feel like that after you lose somebody. Good luck with the birth and the new little one.

imwithspud · 15/05/2015 17:06

Thank you, it felt good to off load a bit.

KatharineClifton · 15/05/2015 17:09

I have no friends either outside of family - it seems so much of an effort to keep friendships up when I am feeling down/ill or busy.

My kids go out in the fields and shout at the wind, or just scream (they are 13) and it seems a wonderful way to offload. Wish I could bring myself to do it too sometimes.

imwithspud · 15/05/2015 17:28

I feel like doing that sometimes too. I've deactivated my Facebook this week because (and this probably sounds really self absorbed) I couldn't deal with seeing 'friends' posting on Facebook as normal and talking amongst themselves whilst not giving me and what I'm going through a second thought. Don't get me wrong we all have lives, but a quick text to see how I'm doing isn't too much to ask surely? I would at the very least do the same if it were the other way round. There's also the fact that no one seems to want to acknowledge my pregnancy either, I don't think any of them even realize that my due date is next week. Okay I really do sound selfish, ignore me lol.

ancientbuchanan · 15/05/2015 22:17

I with, v sorry about your loss and that your grandfather won't see your babe. You, shady, I and others, all losing people, part of the human condition, but makes it no better. And this stage of pregnancy I found frustrating, just wanted it to be over.

But praise be fir MN where we can vent and get support.

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