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Fear of growing up, stuck in the past

2 replies

Inthepastlife34 · 08/05/2015 18:17

This is very hard to explain so bare with me, was just wondering if anyone else thinks like me and why?

I am 33 years old, have children, am separated and the thought of being settled down and mumsie terrifies me. I don't feel 33, when I see other mums I feel like I'm nothing like them and I don't want to be like them. I want more to life than being a mum and a wife, I want to have fun.

I loved being 18, I kind of missed out a few years before that being in an abusive relationship with a older men but from the age of 18 until I was 21 things were brilliant, I was single, could party, gad a great job and a great social life, at the age of 21 I got with dh and had kids. I guess I feel like I settled down too early and I should have had more fun first. I think one of the reasons I split with dh was because I could not handle being tied down, being mumsie and a house wife. Since being single I have realised that I can't go back to being 18 ,I have no good friends, the friends I do gave are married or depressed because they are alone.

This strong feeling of not wanting to grow up is stopping me from finding another man and might even be effecting how I parent my children.

How do you accept that things can never be how they were when you were 18, how can I learn to accept I'm getting older and I need to grow up?

I hope this makes sense as it doesn't really make much sense to me.

OP posts:
Queenofknickers · 08/05/2015 21:20

It sounds like you need to mourn for the loss of that time when you were younger and what you experienced in that relationship. A good therapist would help you work through it. I personally prefer psychotherapy but there are good counsellors out there too.

glub · 02/06/2015 17:38

please don't write off the depressed ones! why don't you try arranging a night out? you all could get to chat to random people and drink and dance... and seeing all the 18 year olds might help you feel old!

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