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Depressed teenager

5 replies

Catx123 · 01/05/2015 16:20

Help! My DD is severely depressed and desperately need advice. She is 18 and coming up to A2 exams but has gone in to deep depression. Very angry all the time and personality completely changed - tells me to Go Away all the time and won't interact with anyone. She won't get out of bed and on her phone 24/7. A number of things have happened recently which has made her very low - she is an elite junior athlete but is suffering a long term injury - then has had friendship issues and with exams coming up, she has basically given up. Also seems to have suffered very low self esteem issues for a while and social anxiety. Really desperate to know what to do and need some help. She has seen her GP and prescribed prozac. But she goes mental at the idea of any counselling. How long does this last and what do you think about prozac? Bit nervous about giving it to her but at a loss as to what else to do as she's been in bed pretty much for 4 weeks now.

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floramckitchen · 01/05/2015 19:57

I really feel for you Cat - this happened to my daughter at 18, she went into a very severe depression which was caused by a combination of things (bullied at school and raped aged 16) and has only recently started to learn some coping skills . She has been suffering for three years now and spent most of the first two in her bedroom. She takes fluoxetine and has weekly group therapy sessions which have really helped her and has plans to start university in September after a 3 year delay. I am so proud of her for battling this illness but its been a long hard struggle for both of us.

At first my dd would not engage with counselling because it was so painful for her (still is) but she was lucky enough to get onto a two year course of group therapy which gave her a chance to get used to the group, the therapist and then feel comfortable enough to open up and talk.

All you can do is listen and support your daughter and make sure she gets the help she needs when she is ready, unfortunately you can't rush her into it. It could be a long road ahead so make sure you take time to look after yourself too.

Good luck

Flora

NanaNina · 01/05/2015 20:33

Sounds like your DD needs more support than she is getting. I can understand your concern about Prozac as there is a risk with all ADs that they will make things worse for a time, especially with young people. There is also the risk of increase in suicidal thoughts with young people, BUT it does sound like she needs medication for her depression and anxiety. Did the GP give her a follow up appointment?

I totally understand that she doesn't want to get out of bed (I suffer from intermittent depression which is severe at times) and the last thing I want to do is get out of bed. My son also had depression when he was 18 and shut himself away in his bedroom too. It's a need to withdraw somehow, as we can't cope with normal interaction - it's what animals do when they are in pain. BUT the isolation doesn't really help us - I used to have a deal with my son that he would get up by 2.00 p.m. and generally he kept to this and also an agreement that he wouldn't lock his bedroom door. He took meds and got better within about 6 months.

Loss of some sort is usually the root cause of depression and anxiety seems always to go along with depression, and it's sometimes difficult to tell which is which. You say she's on her phone 24/7 (like most teenagers!) so at least she is making contact with someone - do any of her friends visit, or call her, do you know. I know it's easy to say but I think you maybe need to try to contain your own anxiety as this will make her worse I think. She clearly doesn't want to talk to you about her problems and you have to accept that, BUT I think maybe it's time for a bit of "tough love" - so you make a deal with her that she gets out of bed by early afternoon - is she eating? Presumably you are taking food to her bedroom - if so, then maybe try and get an agreement that she has breakfast and lunch in her room but gets up for evening meal. She really does need to be helped out of her bedroom, but you have to understand that it can seem like climbing Everest - honestly. Depression is a real torment and can only be understood by those who have experienced it.

Is she interacting with anyone in the family, her dad/brothers/sisters. You say you are worried about giving her the Prozac but what does she want - that's important for her to be involved in the decision. I think she does need medication but you'd need to keep a careful watch to make sure she was not getting any worse - they take 2/3 weeks to "kick in" and sometimes you get the side effects before the benefits. ADs are all a bit hit and miss really, - trial and error.

Have a look at Young Minds website - DD might find it helpful too.

You ask how long this lasts - there's no answer to that - MH issues aren't like getting flu - it's more complicated than that and everyone is different, and there are fluctuations, 2 steps forward and 1 step back - can be a long journey. Maybe you need to find out more for yourself - the MIND website is a good place for information and there are loads of books on depression and anxiety that you could buy to help you understand better this really distressing illness that your DD is suffering............but the chance are she will recover and life will be good again.

Catx123 · 01/05/2015 21:10

Thanks so much flora and nina. Sounds like you have both been through it big time. Really reassuring what you have to say. DD has decided to take the Prozac - been on it a week now but seems worse. Guess need to be patient and not rush it. Your DD and DS sound so brave.

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Clara66 · 02/05/2015 08:57

Keep going catx123. My dd has struggled too and couldn't cope with counselling, but low dose medication has worked well (Prozac had severe side effects so she's on sertraline). Nothing really to add, but make sure u look after yourself too. Try not to panic about exams - my dd has had to take a year out of college and it has done her the world of good - health comes first.

Good luck.

Catx123 · 02/05/2015 13:47

Thanks all for advice. Definitely makes me feel better and not be too anxious about it. What were the side effects of Prozac? My DD seems to be more aggressive after a week of it.

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