I've had mh problems for years. However, I started psychotherapy a couple of weeks ago and it has brought up a lot of emotions for me. I feel awful. Prior to this, my main problem was simply feeling numb to things and not being able to feel things normally. But since the therapy, I've been feeling things a lot more. Lots of bad feelings have been coming up. I am crying on and off all day, i feel anxious and I just generally feel that I'm in a lot of distress. It's awful. I can't cope with anything right now. I feel such hopelessness and despair I can't even describe it.
I have become fixated on my physical appearance and what is wrong with it to the point of it being pathological. It's all I can think of. It's making all my thoughts surrounding disordered eating come back again.
This morning dd2 refused to get her shoes etc on for school because she didn't have her cardigan which she had left at school. After trying to talk her into it nicely, I then began to get cross. That had no effect and so it continued until I lost it with her, dragged her down the stairs and semi pinned to to the floor whilst shouting at her. I feel awful about it all. I don't know what to do. For some time now I've had trouble with the dc or dh touching me. Everyone in the family is suffering now, not just me.
I feel it's reached crisis point now and don't know what to do.