Why am I such a sorry excuse for a human being?

[bigfatdisappointment]

I have never been good at anything I have ever done, and being a mother is no exception.

My children are beautiful, but they deserve so much more than a mother who shouts constantly, can't keep the house tidy, can't cook, has no career to speak of (or indeed career prospects for the future)

I'm so fucking inadequate, I wonder why I'm still here tbh. DP desrves a better partner than me. We are meant to be getting married, but why he wants to marry an inadequate fat bitch like me, I'll never know.

Sorry to write such a horrible self indulgent post. I don't even expect anyone to reply, but I just had to get it all out in the open.

I'm sorry to hear you are having a tough time at the moment.

What has set you off bfd??

Nothing in particular, just years of being fecking useless at everything I do.

wow! u really do have a low self esteem.
you are not an inadequate bitch or a bad mother. Being a mother is the toughest job in the world.
As for keeping the house clean and tidy, well most mums have the same problem, i have gone past caring.
are u taking any medication?? go to your GP and ask for some counselling, it will help to talk to someone.
keep posting.

I shout constantly at my children. Who knows what damage I'm doing to them

u need some relaxation. yoga or meditation.
can u dump the kids off on someone for an hour or two so u can have time to yourself, and i don't mean to crack on with the housework, i mean to have some 'you time' like go shopping, go to the gym (exercise is great for making u feel good about yourself), go to a yoga clas.
what u describe is stress and possibly depression. only your GP can tell u for sure if u are depressed.
please make an appt today.

alexa's right - sounds like you need some help pulling yourself up. Put it this way - your kids would far rather you were there than not, and I bet your DP/DH would say the same. Go to your GP, get some support.

Whooooaaahhhhh there!

If you were as inadequate and as fucking useless as you think you are, you wouldn't have had the bravery and honesty to post your original message.
And - "my children are beautiful" - well, that's partly down to you, you know - they didn't fall out of the sky! You made them, carried them and gave birth to them - the hardest job in the world and you shoudl be bloody proud of yourself. Let's face it, can you imagine the average man coping with piles, varicose veins, peeing yourself when you sneeze, swollen ankles, your whole body becomign totally unrecognisable, stretch marks, LABOUR??????? You might not have had all of these, but you had some, I bet.
EVerybody shouts when they are tired or under stress (let's face it, which mother isn't?)Your children still love you, you are still their world. It sounds as though, to make it a slightly better world, you need to get yourself some support and some professional help pronto. You don't have to feel like this alone.

Oh and by the way - "can't cook," that's why jacket potatoes, baked beans, cheese and apples were invented!! "can't keep the house tidy." So what - bollocks to it, a dirty child is a happy child. Go for a walk with them instead and jump in some leaves.

bfd seconding everything that's been said so far. If you can try and get some support/help. Talking to somebody else might just be what you need to see that you are not inadequat.

Might not be much consolation but...

I have days where I think 'wtf am I doing?' 'Is this it?', 'I' can't cope', 'I hate my life' and/or 'what am I doing wrong that my kids won't eat/sleep/listen' etc.

So...

I've taken to shouting at my kids because otherwise they won't respond at all

My house is a constant bomb site

probably could cook if I had the time and not 2 small kids wanting my attention, so whole heartedly support Eastwardho's 'cooking' suggestions, which I top up with canned pasta shapes, fish fingers, chicken nuggets and frozen veg!

As for career... being a mother is hard enough work without having to worry about a career. I do work, however, trying to find a suitable job to fit in with kid's nursery/school hours etc is next to impossible so career prospects... close to zilch this side too.

See you're not useless, you're a mum! And if dp wants to marry you he obviously doesn't think you are useless or inadequate either.

Don't know whether my rant will help, but at least it will show you that you're not alone

{hugs}