Birth trauma - please help

[elliejjtiny]

Posted in several places because I'm desperate. Apologies to MNHQ if this is frowned upon.

I had a traumatic cat 1 C-section in June last year. To cut a long story short I had an attempted VBAC with DS5 at 36+5. My waters went at 35 weeks and I developed an infection 9 days later. I was induced with a drip but it didn't work. DS5 was found to have his forehead banging against my cervix (brow presentation) and I had an EMCS at 5cm dilated. I was in HDU for 2 days and DS5 was in NICU for 4 days. We both came home after 8 days in hospital. I was mostly on my own as DH was looking after our other DC. He brought them in for a quick visit for 10 mins after school most days.

A birth debrief really helped with the practical side of things and I now understand why things happened as it did. But I still have nightmares about it and cry when I try and talk about what happened. I'm on a high dose of anti-depressants (150mg sertraline) which helps a bit but I was thinking I'd feel more "normal" by now. I see the gp every 1-2 months and she just asks me how I am and tells me to keep taking my tablets. The HV sees me every 3 months or so, does the edinburgh test on me, tells me I've sored really high again (20-23 usually, anything over 11 indicates depression). I feel like I've gone crazy and worry that I'll always feel this way. DH seems to think I'll be off my meds and better any minute now. I feel like I should be asking someone to do something to help me but I've no idea who or what.

Ellie I have no practical help to offer but what you are going through sounds awful and you are not alone feeling like this.

I had an EMCS after a long labour last April and it knocked me for 6. I also cried everytime I thought about it for months after, but luckily for me the feeling faded naturally.

Rather than treating the symptoms with AD, would you able to access any therapy to try and address tge cause of your distress?

I'm sure someone with experience and practical help will come to the thread very soon x

Sorry to hear that you went through such a traumatic time. Pleased to hear that you are on medication for your depression, & continue with that for as long as is necessary.
Please don't feel like you have to get better Asap - it's a process which can be very long..

I had a birth trauma last July which involved being blue lighted to hospital for an EMCS. Every time I see an ambulance with sirens and lights flashing I end up crying - it comes over me so quickly & usually when I'm driving (which isn't ideal).
It's weird how trauma can affect us (or not, everybody is different)..

Keep communicating with your GP & HV.. Maybe contact charity group MIND to see if they can offer support?

I had post traumatic stress after giving birth to DD2. I found a lot of useful info from the Birth Trauma Association. I hope things start improving for you soon

apparently EMDR therapy is great for trauma, especially PTSD type symptoms such as flashbacks etc. It is one of the few treatments that has a high success rate for PTSD type symptoms. Private is your best option but I think occasionally the NHS can give it (we're having little success so may be going private). Some people only need a few sessions to feel better.