having a down day

[ponybark]

hi all, am LP with 1 DS, 2.4

struggling to keep up with everything and i have a backlog of work to do (self employed) yet can't do it when DS is here and clients are chasing me.

currently going through some MH treatment for long term issues that I've not been able to address for a long time. Had the second session the other day and it was draining but feel positive I'm finally getting some help.

socially isolated due to the MH issues as I have let friendships go on purpose while I try to sort myself out (and no family locally). Also have social anxiety so don't know other mums and 100% not up for it until MH gets sorted out. Rely on the ex for companionship when he's about (we get on ok most of time) to help with DS but he has a long term illness and is only about a few days a week to help (even then he's not always that "helpful").

the other days when it's just me and DS I start to go a bit crazy. I'm fine when he's at nursery (3 sessions a week) and I can get on with stuff.

the time he is here I try to do neverending housework, or go out to the park etc and do stuff with him but I'm going crazy as I can't get on with my backlog of work when he is here (and clients are chasing me - feel bad about this). Also going out all the time (pushing buggy about following full on housework and parenting) is tiring so sometimes we stay in to chill but I go mad staring at the four walls.

Lonely and feeling depressed and trying to get around the MH issues plus work and parenting and never feel like i do enough. Last week I took a break for myself (which is rare) to go to gym and chill a bit on a couple of days but it's pushed me back really far with workload.

Sorry to sound so down on myself. My MH issues push me round in vicious circles but I really am trying to address them following years of suppression. In the meantime while I try to sort it out I'm just lonely and isolated and tired.

Support welcomed. :)

I'm thinking the first thing you need to do are some calculations about time - how much you have available to work, and how much time the work you have to do will take.

Is your work something you can leave set up? Do you need long periods of uninterrupted time to do it? Are there parts of it that can be done in very small steps? Is there the possibility of setting DS up nearby to do his "work" while you are doing yours? Does he still nap?

thanks silvery. I do as much as I can around DS; often I do a bit of paperwork while he is playing, then a bit in the evenings sometimes; sometimes more of the easier stuff if I can around him. A lot of the bigger projects I need uninterrupted time to work on it.

he no longer naps unless i take him out in the buggy; by the time i get back i am usually knackered and just want a cuppa and a chill!

that said i'm a bit of a procrastinator on the harder projects and could do with utilising my child-free time a bit better. I find it difficult to do what I need to do when I need to do it, usually I try to deal with the easier stuff first then I feel i have space to do the harder stuff. Trying so hard to get over this way of working.

there must be a way. Being a LP is hardcore and I probably need to give myself a break a bit more often.

I am a procrastinator by nature, it feels as if I have to gear myself up to things. Now I am old retired gimmer I take my time with no guilt, but I have always been like this - though good when up against a deadline!

I've had short-term success buying time-management and other self-improvement books and eventually some of it has rubbed off. I still have to use tricks on myself to get going - the one you may need to try is Hardest First, by the sound of it. Give yourself a realistic time limit to work on it - say, 15 min, and see how far you get.

Are you familiar with prioritising by Importance/Urgency?

thanks silvery - good to know I am not the only one!! glad to hear you have made progress over the years.

I have tried various methods but I think years of self employment have made me really flexible and put me into bad practices. That said I am not a bad worker and tend to get more done when I have a big workload.

I have tried the 15 minute thing before but will give it another go.

I try to do this thing called "clear to neutral" which means everything I could possibly procrastinate on is already done before it becomes something I could use to procrastinate with!! E.g. wash up as I go, sort paperwork every day, keep things clean as I go along.

I definitely need to get better at prioritising by Importance / Urgency but am still rubbish at it. Arg. Will give it another go.

I am wondering if changing myself in other areas of life will give me more discipline - e.g. if I did regular meditation, more regular exercise etc.