It's back and getting worse

[CuppaBiccieBliss]

I have a diagnosis of complex ptsd, was managing ok on quetiapine and citalopram, until now. My sleep in non existant, I am having flashbacks by the hour and now can not stop crying. I feel such a failure, why does this keep beating me? Why do things always have to get bad again? I can't even think what has triggered it

You are not a failure. Please don't think that. We all have these blips and it doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't mean it's beating you, you're fighting and sometimes it gets rocky but you will come through this.

How are you feeling now? i'm sorry you didn't get a reply quicker

Sorry to hear you are suffering. Have you tried EMDR? My psych is a leading expert in PTSD and swears by it.

Thank you I have managed to have a bath and get into bed, still crying and a general mess really.
It just seems to get harder and harder, I am struggling to see the point anymore

Have you got anyone with you at the minute? Or could you phone someone? Might help having someone there.

Have you been given any numbers to the community mental health teams or anything? If not it might be best to see your GP as soon as you can and see what they can do, sometimes a medication change can word wonders when you feel you're going a bit downhill again - I've had to change mine a couple of times when they suddenly didn't give me what i needed anymore.

Don't give up, it's so hard it's bloody horrible but I promise you it will get better and you will see light. Never give up, there's always a point even if it's difficult to see at the moment.

x

Sorry x posted. I haven't tried emdr yet, can't afford private at the moment and nhs waiting lists would see me claim my pension before an appointment became available.
Tbh I struggle to engage with any sort of therapy, I find talking about what happened physically painful (normally end up vomiting at the sound of the word)

Dp is with me, well, downstairs. I do have the number for the crisis team so will keep that handy. Everything just seems so bleak at the moment.

Is there anything going on that's triggered your feelings or has it just come on? It's horrible when it seems like nothing is wrong then BOOM the feelings come back from where you tried to tuck them deep down.

Does DP know you're upset? Do ring the crisis team, they'll be able to help

Sweet jesus, another night tossing and turning I really don't know how much longer I can go without some sleep. I honestly feel drunk with tiredness