Bipolar diagnosis: how?

[Hopetogether]

I am very worried about my dh.

We have had an almighty argument whereby I've discovered his cheating and 5 month long affair (see woman). He clearly displays hyper sexuality (excessive sex, porn, different women), gets angry at certain times v easily, experiences of lows and wanting to quit his job. Among many other things that are all symptoms of bipolar. The most hurtful to me is the grandure he displays when I beliebe he is manic (staying out all night, alcohol drunk beyond limits etc) and then the sex. It isn't nirmal.

I am either to walk away and allow him to ruin others lives or help him because I love him. We have no kids, are young and no real financial ties.

Any advice much appreciated. I do have experience of MH and feel like this makes me want to help what is otherwise an amazing man.

Kind words please.

Sorry OP but I don't think those symptoms alone suggest he has bipolar, it's more complex than that and having seen a number of manic episodes from two different family members both had many more symptoms, and had to be hospitilized

Has he suggested he's bipolar or are you looking for a reason for his behaviour?

Does he think he might have it?

In my experience the person having a manic episode is the last person to realise or admit they are behaving abnormally

Hope you're ok OP, sounds like you're having a tough time but I think you're better looking at alternative explanations

I think it would be lovely for you to discover that there was a medical reason for him to cheat on you and to cause you such distress. However, I also think you need to consider that some people can be arrogant and unfaithful for no other reason than being the unfaithful kind.

Hating your job and acting like an arse aren't traits of bipolar.

The only people who can diagnose bipolar disorder are psychiatrists, who would do a full history and proper consultation, but a diagnosis wouldn't stop him from being unfaithful. Even medicated, you have to take responsibility for your own actions.

The first place would be your GP. They can refer on to specialist mental health services. It's not possible to diagnose him on the basis of what you've said - there are loads of possible explanations for his behaviour which are best explored with a professional. It may be that he has a personality disorder such as EUPD which would also explain many of his symptoms. Would he be willing to seek help? If not, go to your GP and discuss your concern anyway and see if they can offer advice.

Whether you stay with him or not is a completely different matter and something you will need to consider very, very carefully. These sound like longstanding, complex problems which aren't likely to let up any time soon. Are you willing to take many more years of this? And maybe have children with him? If not, leaving may be the best option. You can always help him as a friend. Personally I wouldn't be able to stay in a relationship with someone like this especially if the had cheated - it would just completely do my head in!

Being a manic depressive (I much prefer that honest description to the new PC vsion) is not a single condition with a single set of characteristics. Some of us are very extreme and others are mild by comparison but still near impossible to live with.

I can only speak from my expience of being a manic depressive. It never goes away. In my mid fifties I will never be "cured". It is part of me and what makes me what I am. I have a comparatively mild condition. I have not considered suicide and never been so bad I have been hospitalised. However, I had one very severe episode when I became a man in a dressing gown for four months.

If my wife had not stood by me I may not have survived. I think part of why she stayed with me is that when I was diagnosed as depressed I simply did what I was told and went to bed and slept for four months. The recognition of manic depression came later.

I do understand you are in a lonely place because my DW has told me about how lonely it is coping with a depressed hubby.

I feel he must see a doctor Nd get help... good luck