I don’t have children, but I have lurked here and have decided to post. I don’t really know what I want other than I guess to unload.
My problem is that my life is being crippled by fear. Almost every situation causes extreme anxiety. Even posting here is making me nervous due to fear of negative responses.
I didn’t go to university due to my anxiety and this really got me down. A few years later I landed a job which I couldn’t believe my luck that I managed to get. I was over the moon, ecstatic, and promised that I would never be unhappy again. However, it didn’t work out the way and a year later I quit due to anxiety. Another 2 months later I got another job and again left due to not coping.
I’m ashamed that I’m not 100% looking for another job because I’m too scared of how it will be. This isn’t how I intended my life to be; I wanted to make something of my life, to better myself and instead all I’ve become is a recluse and saddened when I see others out there making something of their life. I have a boyfriend but whilst he is at work (which includes weekends) I am totally alone.
I feel this all stems from past abuse, but I can’t move on.
I’ve tried counselling, I’ve spoken to my doctor, I’ve tried meditation and CBT and nothing has helped me as of yet.