panicking counselling starts on Thursday

[mysparkleismissing]

I know that's a good thing and it's going back to see someone I saw last summer, so I already feel I've failed cos I'm going back

don't think I've achieved much over the last 10 months

feeling afraid of opening up and then coming home to an empty house with very little support from friends and even less from family

if I don't know how to fix me how is talking going to help. I need a new personality.

Going back is progress, not failure. You've recognised you need to do more work, that's a good thing.

Counselling is more than just talking - it's like having someone alongside you exploring all your stuff. Including all the stuff you'd rather not look at but know that it's there anyway. Having the counsellor do that with you will help to highlight areas you might otherwise miss and challenge some thoughts and patterns that are no longer helpful for you.

Do you know what type of counselling it is? Psychodynamic, person-centred etc.?

Thanks for your reply stripey.

I'm feeling so alone atm.

I think she's just a generic counsellor. I had asked my gp about cbt regarding low self esteem as that's he fundamental thinking but this is what she's offered.

I go to counselling and l always find that evening l feel very raw and vulnerable but by next day l feel the benefit of it. It's like l get a bit worse then much better. So now l know what to expect. This helps as l remind myself.. It has done me good and l will be all the better for it. I often feel very tired and even cold the first evening but then recover well. I find writing in a journal good at that time as it's fresh in my mind.

Yeah I think I should write something after my session. give me something to look back on.

I've not told anyone about the appointment. I don't know why.

Good luck for today OP.

Thanks stripy.
It went okay. emotional as I'd thought it would be but I kinda blurted a lot of it all out.
Still think I'd like something more constructive.
go back next week.

I'd love a hug

Hello mysparkle A lurker here .I am glad that you have been able to talk to your counsellor and hope the next session goes well for you. I had counselling last year and now again this year. Sending a hug xx