I will try to keep this as short as possible. I wasn't sure where to put this hoping it's appropriate here.
I have been friends with X for over 10 years. We live 2 hours apart and don't meet very often but text and speak on the phone several times a day. I considered X a very good friend for life.
Last year she was hit by problems in her private and professional life, had a mini breakdown, left her job and her GP prescribed ADs. She had a really tough time.
I tried to support her the best I could by just trying to be there for her, but over time she seems to be pushing me away and she never wants to meet up. She is saying she is ready to get off the ADs and she is back job hunting. We now have hardly any contact though I try about once a month to see how she is, it's obvious she is not interested and the last few times has made a few remarks about how fab my life is which seems quite catty. I have been really careful not to talk about myself and its really been all about her the last few months so this feels very unfair. I recently went through a bereavement in my family and she hardly bothered asking me how I am.
As a person she doesn't have many friends, I have made most of the effort in the friendship I think and she is quite a negative person who easily gets resentful and jealous of others. I have always thought this a slight character flaw but I like so many other things about her and nobody is perfect. However, with her depression and possibly also mid life crisis (we are mid 40s) these character traits seem to really come to the fore.
I am now really sad as I feel like I am losing my friend and I don't really understand why. My feeling is that she is more depressed than she thinks and should not go off the ADs yet. I keep thinking have I said or done something to offend or can depression almost cause a personality change so she doesn't like me (or anyone else) anymore.
should I keep initiating contact when I am constantly being pushed back? I have no experience of depression but I want to understand. She doesn't let me in and I feel like I am turning into a stalker