Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Being forced into accepting help that I don't want

16 replies

knowinghowtobe · 28/03/2015 00:35

I've been diagnosed with depression for over a year, and was functioning up until January with anti-depressants, weekly GP visits and CBT. Things took a downward turn in January and I was referred to the crisis team and to a psychiatrist. Then my boss refused me time for any more medical appointments, contrary to the Occupational Health report and GP sick note. Had a very bad meeting, with union support, and ended up taking an overdose on the basis that my son would be better off financially.

That was a month ago, and I was then fully signed off work. The thoughts of wanting to be dead haven't really stopped but I have been open with my GP about it. She has kept asking if I want to go into hospital but I've said no, and kind of thought we had a deal. Last month, she referred me back to the crisis team and I got seen yesterday. My GP had written to them after my visit the previous day and asked them to assess whether I should be in hospital or not, and put all the details of what I'd told her.

The crisis team woman said I had two options: go into hospital or have the home treatment team involved. I said I didn't want either. She said I didn't have a choice. She also said that we'd need to see whether I was well enough to go on holiday at Easter.

I had my first session, unwillingly, with home treatment team today. He was actually ok. But he was honest about the holiday being at risk and that, if I didn't 'comply' with the medication changes or the involvement of the home treatment team, they'd probably assess me under the Mental Health Act and want to admit me.

I acknowledge that I'm not in a great place BUT I've had countless opportunities in the last month to kill myself and chosen not to. I'm talking about plans for the future and hopeful(ish) that the new therapy that I'm starting after the holiday might help. I need this holiday. Can they actually stop me from going without sectioning me, and might they section me to stop me from going? Thanks.

OP posts:
UnbelievableBollocks · 28/03/2015 09:13

Hi knowing.
Your best bet is to keep working with home treatment. Their remit is to keep people out of hospital and in the community, so if you work with them and keep yourself safe then you shouldn't need admission. They tend to admit when they feel that people need the extra support, are at risk of self harm or are finding it difficult for whatever reason to keep taking the meds. Refusing to work with HTT is making you high risk, hence why they're talking about hospital.

They can't stop you from going on holiday if you're not sectioned and you're in the community, though If you're going abroad and have insurance, the Dr could say that you're not fit for travel, which could null your insurance either entirely, or just if you need treatment for your current condition.

It sounds like you're having a dreadful time and that actually, a holiday could be very beneficial to help you get better.

I've been under the HTT in the last couple of months after getting into a dreadful state. They're there to support folks in crisis, but are there short-term and once they feel that you're getting better and are lower risk, will discharge you back to community care.

Hope your mood starts to lift soon. Depression is an absolute bitch.

Iwasinamandbun1t · 28/03/2015 09:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

knowinghowtobe · 28/03/2015 09:53

Thanks for the replies. I know I've got to be seen to co-operate but there's such a time limit and I just don't see them blithely waving me off on holiday in a week's time when they're obviously so concerned. Also, part of the problem is that dying on holiday was part of the suicidal thoughts that I was having last week. I have genuinely changed my mind on that because of how it would affect my son if I ruined the holiday in such a way and for other reasons, but I don't think they'll believe me if I say that now as they'll think I'm just trying to get on holiday.
The irony to all this is that my GP made some really powerful points when I saw her this week about why I shouldn't do it at all. I'm not saying I left there 100% convinced, but I was definitely seeing a different point of view from normal. She's been the only person through all this who I've been able to be totally open with and it has helped to be able to do that. Now I feel like my openness is being used against me and I'm better off faking normal instead. That also now cuts off probably my biggest source of support and understanding because I feel like she's been the only person who's 'got' my situation and who I have trusted to do that. I feel pretty betrayed, even while I know logically that she's worried about me and trying to stop something bad happening.

I really really need this holiday. It will make me happy, even for a bit, and my son and partner need it too. I don't know how to convince them that I need to go and am safe to. My partner has said he'll give them any assurances they want, including looking after my meds and phoning in with them regularly.

Just resent all this. I have the capacity to make choices, even if they're not ones that other people would agree with.

OP posts:
creamhearts · 28/03/2015 10:29

If they are talking about the MHA you have no option but to comply as hard as it is. If they see you are improving you will be discharged from their care.

You can have capacity and still be sectioned - I have argued this many times and still been sectioned. To be sectioned you have to have a mental disorder, be a risk to yourself or others, and have a disorder of a nature that requires treatment or assessment in hospital.

I am in a similar position in that I have a holiday booked for a month and I am currently sectioned and suicidal and have no idea what will happen with that.

dontrunwithscissors · 28/03/2015 10:52

Your GP sounds good--it's possible that s/he is seeing things that you can't? Are you sure you have such awareness? It just seems tthat such low mood doesn't generally just melt away with a chat.

In answer to your qustion, yes, they could detain you to stop you going on holiday. This was threatened to me (it was actually a work trip, though) and I had to agree to cancel to stay out of hospital. The worst thing you could do right now is to withdraw from services--that would be a red flag to them.

frustratedashell · 28/03/2015 10:59

So sorry you are going through this. Depression is awful. Try to Co operate , they are trying to help. Your husband sounds very supportive, which is great.
I hope you can go on the holiday. Good luck

knowinghowtobe · 28/03/2015 11:27

The thing is that, if they stop me from going on holiday, they will make everything worse. My son only knows I'm off work, not why. My family can't know - I would hate that so much, and they're so dysfunctional that they would make things worse. Partner agrees. So not going on holiday would be impossible to explain. The place I'm going to is also pretty much the only place I've been happy in the last year; it's where we go regularly and is a really good place for me. I have to go. And if they stop me from going, they will make my life worse. How would that help?

OP posts:
knowinghowtobe · 28/03/2015 11:28

I am co-operating with these sessions from the home team but won't co-operate with not going on holiday.

OP posts:
catlover40 · 28/03/2015 11:34

They cannot stop you from going away without detaining you under a section of the mental health act. I know this is sneaky but go without telling them?! I have been in psych ward voluntarily and they threatened me with a section if i did not stay. fortunately i have a degree which gave me a good knowledge of mental health legislation and how to get out which i did. It is not easy to be sectioned these day as funds are tight. It is good you are being co operative as it will show them you are committed to your recovery. If you do tell them be honest and tell them this place makes you fell happier and it will do you good to get away, also the impact it would have on your child not to go.

creamhearts · 28/03/2015 11:43

Explain why you want to go and prove you are safe by not doing anything, working with them can still involve you going away.

knowinghowtobe · 28/03/2015 11:58

I've stupidly told my doctor when I'm going :( and she'll clearly have told the crisis/home treatment team.

OP posts:
dontrunwithscissors · 28/03/2015 13:24

I don't know where you are going, but just be warned that going abroad against medical advice will invalidate travel insurance. That means they will not only refuse to pay out for treatment relating to depression, they can also refuse to pay out on any claim. Super-tricky if you're going somewhere like the US. If you do go to the U.S. and enter on the visa waiver scheme, you will most likely be entering the country illegally. There is a prohibition against anyone entering under the scheme who has a MI and is considered to be a danger to them ds of others (which again would be seen the case if you travel against medical advice). Sorry if I seem harsh--just making you aware of the risks.

knowinghowtobe · 28/03/2015 13:54

I'm going to Europe. I suppose I haven't yet been told that I can't or shouldn't go, just that it's in doubt. So I guess I have a few days to convince them that I can and should.

OP posts:
knowinghowtobe · 29/03/2015 15:49

I am so worried that I won't be able to go that it's making me worse. How does that help?!

OP posts:
knowinghowtobe · 06/04/2015 20:57

They let me go! Had to persuade my GP as hospital people wanted her to have final decision, but all sorted.

OP posts:
UnbelievableBollocks · 07/04/2015 19:15

Hooray!

Have a great holiday, and I hop the break does you good. :)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page