who am i

[alles]

hi all

i would like to know if i am the only one who feels like this it feels like i have been lost with looking after my kids and my husband tell me the i have it easy and that he is the that dise all the hard work for this famliy (sad) i just feel that if i was not here it would not matter i have no one to talk to i just feel lost

well, there's lots of support here and people to talk to...are you being treated for your depression> and, no, you are not the only one..

yes i am and thank you so much it great to know that i am not the only one i feel so dum know i am sat here crying

have you read through some of the other threads on here about depression, there is some marvellous advice and support...

are you on medication and having counselling..is it post natal?

i am on madication i am not sure that it is my youngs child is 2 and i was fine after he was born but my doc thinks that it is post natal i just want to stop feelinh like this and be the best mum that i know that i can be it dose not help when your husband think that depression is a weakness and that i should just get on with it

alles... i was in the same boat...just got to do a few things..then will be back,,,,mky PND not diagnosed until LO was 18 mths old.....

its just so hard i have left all my famliy behind and moved to the other end of the country for him but i am still in the wrong i just do not know what to do oh well know i have found this site i will have some where to come thank you you do not know how much this mean to thank you again i have to go now as my husband will be home soon hope to chat to you again thanks lulmama

there will always be someone here to give you support....take care xx

Dear Alles
You are not dumb - you are perfectly normal. The fact that this depression post is so big tells you that weall go through the same thing when we have kids.
Once you have children, no matter how much you love them, all of a sudden, you're independence and freedom and identity is just taken away, so it's hardly surprising that we end up feeling depressed!
I had a really good job before I had kids, but I chose to stay at home and look after them because I felt that it was best for them.
It's not hard manual work, but it's sooooo... demanding!!
Every day is the same routine and very monotonous. You can't go out in the morning because your baby has got to have a nap or be a total nightmare because they are tired. If you try to do a job, they are demanding something or other and you just can't get on with anything!
And all that when you are getting so little sleep if they are waking in the night.
What you are going through is absolutely normal. Personally, I have a 3 and four year old and when my littlest was newborn, I remember breastfeeding him and my 1 year old with a spoon at the table at the same time and had two sets of nappies to change and they were both waking up during the night at different times. Aagh!!!! No wonder we end up basket cases.
But...I have always told myself that this is only temporary and have tried to focus on how much I love them. This hasn't stopped me from wanting to put my head on the oven from time to time (good job we've got an electric oven!).
I am consoling myself with the fact that at least I will get my sense of humour and identity back by 2012, hopefully!
I recently tried St Johns Wort for depression and it has been very good - I do feel that my mood has improved.
As for your husband - men just don't understand and never will do until they are left in a position where they have to do our job for 4 years (it's a feeling of accumulation - you could do this for a couple of months and be OK - but when this is your life for years on end - it tends to grate - like Chinese water torture - and that will never happen.
Big hugs for you. Good on you for hanging on in there.
Much love
Christine