I think I just sacked my care team

[HermioneDanger]

How fucking stupid am I?

I'm so fucking fragile at the moment. My psychiatrist wants me to look round the inpatient unit at the hospital he refers to for my ED. I was called on Thursday to arrange and they said they'd come back to me with a date, and as yet they haven't. I called to chase today and the receptionist was snotty with me and as a result I've gone into full retreat mode. I've cancelled my psychiatrist, my therapist and my dietitian because I don't want to deal with the snotty receptionist. And now I'm all alone again.

What a stupid thing to do. I can't undo it because I'll look like a twat. But I can't manage on my own.

Start small. Call the one with the least snotty receptionist and rebook. Or if it's the same person get someone else to ring for you and give the receptionist a mouthful if she gets snotty!

Possibly not much help but didn't want to read and run.

And you're not stupid. I used to do exactly the same.

You won't look like a twat if you undo it. Just phone up and swallow your pride and say you made a mistake and could you please reinstate your appointments. You are fragile, be kind to yourself.

Unfortunately if they're not kind to me I fear I will crumble every further Majestic.

I've even cancelled the bloody hairdresser and I've needed a cut for the lat fortnight (v short hair so is disastrous). Fucksticks.

I was doing so well this morning. Was dressed for the gym and just making the phone calls I needed to before heading out and the this took away all my confidence and I haven't left the bed since.

Ermm, will they just let you cancel it like that? On the basis of one snotty phone call? I'm surprised the paychiatrist would let you go that easily, seeing as theres a reason you're seeing him in the first place?

Well I called and cancelled, Dinosaur, I didn't give reasons just said I wanted to cancel and not reschedule. I only spoke to the diary secretaries though.

Can you call them back Hermione? Or do you have anyone to do that for you? I really hope the psychiatrist wouldn't leave it there just because you cancelled. Doesn't sound like the receptionist is the right person for the job. But don't let someone like that jepordise your health and well being.

Join the club. We have all done similar things because of feeling fragile and people being snotty. Hopefully they won't leave it there but if you cannot speak to the physychiatrist could you speak to your GP and see if he can help reinstate things?

I am sorry you are so ill. I would hope that it is not that easy to cancel mental health care if someone is ill enough to require hospitalisation. Do you have a cpn?

DH called the psych and reinstated the appointment. We're going tonight. I expect it's going to be a tough one. I binged and binged and purged yesterday because of all the high emotions. And because I am supposed to be going to something tomorrow tried on some outfits for that and felt like an elephant in them all

What's a cpn, Really? I'm not doing this through the NHS. We got to breaking point a few weeks back and were referred to the crisis team who were beyond useless, they actually made things worse (breaches of confidence, misunderstanding things I was telling them and refusing to be corrected, failure for them to keep appointed times to ring etc) and DH pushed the "let's throw money at this" button so it's all being done privately. My main point of contact is the psych and he oversees everyone else.

Can you call your DH and ask him to rebook the appointments in a break/between meetings? Also tell the snotty receptionist to be kinder. Yes, she is on the front line and probably gets all kinds of flak from people who are unwell and distressed, but that is her job and she should be able to be clear, calm and kind. You will not look a twat if you rebook yourself.

Well done. You have achieved loads.

If it would help, you could try an exercise workout at home if you didn't want to miss a gym class. Or juat go in a bit, if there's no time restriction.