14 year old son self harming .

[Littleblue]

Saw the marks last night , devastated , thats the third of my four children with mental health concerns .. feel like such a failure . I'm waiting on a callback from the GP . He doesn't have friends doing it , he's a very quiet self contained lad , I'm waiting a referral to check for mild dyspraxia and/or aspergers ... he's got some issues that are new to me .

Please do not feel that you are a failure. It is not your fault. Mental illness can happen to anyone regardless of age, gender, class etc. There are many factors such as genetics, environmental etc. Many people who self harm myself included keep it a secret and i keep it from my husband although he knows i do it. All you can do is support him with the GP and any other mental health referrals he has. Try to ensure that you look after yourself as to help him you have to be in a good place yourself.

Yep , I have a deep understanding of it , as I have a history of cutting too .. which he didn't know about , but I told him last night , because he hates himself for doing it , and thinks he's '' stupid '' . Genetics and environmental stuff are both against all of them . Life is stable now , but the background is breakdown and domestic violence .

and thank you ... I hope you are feeling better ! :)

My 15 year old is currently suffering with depression and last week tried to hang himself. The CAMHS person who assessed him suggested the possibility of an underlying problem - that being Asperger's. (Which is not a surprise but we'd always considered it to be mild.)
It's fucking shit being the parent of such a troubled child and knowing you can't just fix it.
He was hoping for medication and being told there may be an underlying problem which can't be 'fixed' sent him spiralling downwards.
It's such a minefield and we're never sure if we're doing the right thing. He's missing so much school which is now playing on his mind too.

All said, you have not failed. Some things are just not within our control.

My 14 year old is suffering from depression too, we have CAMHS in April, he is not self harming but a few of his friends do it.

I have Bipolar II so blame myself but I think circumstances have a lot to do with it, me and his Dad split after a volatile 16year marriage.

At least your DS is getting the help he needs now, don't beat yourself up about it.

HI , thanks ... so sorry to hear of those issues , my elder son had a breakdown , and was severely suicidal , a few years on , he got his degree , and is happily living with his Gf , there is light at the end of that tunnel , so my younger son can see that for himself by his adult brothers example ... I very much hope both of your sons find their way through to some happiness too .. its a horrible horrible time :( xx

So sorry Gatehouse , what a dreadful time . Its is indeed fucking shit .. the helplessness is awful ...