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Mental health

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Stuck and don't know how to fix myself.

10 replies

squigglehead · 24/03/2015 07:39

I'm so utterly fed up and have no idea how to help myself anymore.

Whenever something goes wrong in my life, no matter how small, it always feels like the end of the world to me. It's been like this for as long as I can remember. My dad used to yell at me for it and so I always thought it was me being stupid or just extra teenage angst, but I always felt really it was something beyond what everyone else seemed to be dealing with. Now I'm nearly 26 and I'm still the same.

For example, I'm very overweight at the moment due to comfort eating when I feel like the whole world is falling apart, which is quite often. I've been really focusing on trying to shift it now that DS is 6 months, and lost 2.5lbs last week through healthy choices and what little exercise i can physically do. But since Thursday the scale has stayed the same. So now I feel like I'll be stuck being fat forever and there's no point in existing anymore. That as a result of my never ending disgustingness DH will inevitably leave me. That by being like this I am letting DS down. I'm sat on the sofa on the verge of tears trying to act normal for him (even though he's only little).

When I was a teenager I had an restrictive eating disorder which I now think was me attempting to control these feelings, to control myself. I tried to get help for it but no one would help and so, as my weight was dropping dangerously low, I started compulsively overeating instead. My weight has been steadily going up ever since.

Once I come out of my "end of the world" moods, however, I truly am fine. Mostly even genuinely happy! I can go from loving my life to thinking I'm the worst person that's ever existed in the space of seconds if someone says the wrong thing or I get a piece of minor bad news.

A few years ago I went to my GP to try and get help with these feelings. He gave me a diagnosis of cyclothymia on the spot. He prescribed me citalopram which I was on for about half a year. I was steadily getting worse, he upped the dose, I kept getting worse, so I just stopped taking it.

See now, I'm starting to come out of this mornings low mood as its taken me so long to type this, and when I read it back I just think I sound ridiculous and I need to get a grip. But when these "disaster" low moods take me nothing feels more real, I genuinely am seized with the sense that I do nothing but fuck everything up, that I am utterly worthless, that everyone I love would be better off without me. But once they lift I'm ok again for a while.

I don't know what to do. I need help, I think. I'm fed up of trying to fix myself and I just want someone to come and take it away. What if it can't be fixed, though? What if its just my shitty personality and I'm just over dramatic like my dad always thought?

I have no idea where to even start. Well done for getting this far and thanks if you have, sorry its so long!

OP posts:
squigglehead · 24/03/2015 07:41

I also have a tendency to throw myself into things full throttle and burn out extremely quickly, if that helps. Eating healthily, exercising, work, meeting new people, anything. I really give it my all and try really hard, burn out and then it feels like I'm shit and obviously can't succeed at it, so what's the point in even trying because I'm just a piece of shit that will never achieve anything etc blah blah blah...

OP posts:
squigglehead · 24/03/2015 11:03

Bump. God I feel miserable today, the worst in ages :(

OP posts:
captaincake · 24/03/2015 16:55

I am very similar. I was asked why something so small leaves me feeling bad for so long and how do I get from that to feeling suicidal. All I could say was it sits in my mind and I just can't stop thinking about it and my thoughts make it spiral down to all sorts of places. I know what I want my reaction to be/what it should be but I can't make myself feel like that.

stripytees · 24/03/2015 18:04

Have you had any therapy? I think that would be really useful for you.

SofaSpud · 24/03/2015 20:59

How you feeling squiggle? X

squigglehead · 25/03/2015 08:11

I've had counselling twice but its not helpful, I take it therapy is different? I've done the online CBT courses I've been referred to before and find them patronising and useless. I need someone to analyse me back, challenge me, shine a new light on things I've been going over and over for years...

Today I feel much better than yesterday. That could all change at a moments notice though.

I searched for therapists in my area and all that came back were counsellors.

OP posts:
stripytees · 25/03/2015 08:36

A psychodynamic counsellor would do what you describe, or you might be able to find a psychoanalytic psychotherapist. Have a look at the British Psychoanalytic Council (BPC) website.

squigglehead · 25/03/2015 13:24

Thanks stripy, will do Thanks

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 25/03/2015 13:31

I second the recommendation for psychotherapy. Be prepared for it to be long term though - most therapists won't set a time limit, it will be open ended, and you will be in control of when your work finishes but we're not talking 6 or 8 sessions here. This sounds like a very deep seated issue for you OP and it will take time and professional support to get to the root of it

Google BPC as recommended by stripytees or BACP (British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy) to find a therapist in your area. Remember that you may not click with the first therapist you see, that's ok. Some people find that its like trying to find a pair of shoes - you have to try a few before you find one that fits Smile

Pandora37 · 25/03/2015 14:50

I don't have any advice but feel similarly to you. I was virtually suicidal on Friday, Saturday I felt okay, yesterday I felt very down, today I feel okay etc. etc. I have no idea if it's normal to swing from one extreme to the other so much but it's very tiring.

I hope you're able to find a good therapist.

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