Lack of motivation or laziness or depression?

[CiderwithBuda]

How do you know if you are depressed?

I know I am an emotional eater (and drinker) and have had some issues over the last few months which have made me just want to eat crap (mainly carbs) and drink wine (evenings only - I'm not drinking to get through the day!).

I'm not sleeping well. Either can't get to sleep or wake up early And can't get back to sleep.

Really struggling to be motivated to do anything other than sit on sofa and be on iPad. MN, facebook etc.

Doing bare minimum around the house.

Have to force myself to shower.

Struggle to get out of bed. Just want to sleep but can't.

I know I need to exercise but just cannot get motivated. Always find an excuse - current one is pain in ankle/leg. It is painful but ther is always something.

Desperately need to lose weight but the emotional eating doesn't help and then I feel an utter failure for giving in yet again.

Tears are never far away.

Hate myself for not being able to stick to any diet/healthy eating plan/exercise plan. I have a friend who is quite judgemental about it all which isn't helping.

Thinking about going to doctor but don't want to waste their time.

I am unhealthily overweight. Which makes me feel depressed but is that actual depression? Enough to warrant going to the doctor?

Feel like I am going around in circles.

Oh bless you sweetheart, yes you definitely need to go and see your doctor - it sounds like you've been really brave but need some more support - and it certainly doesn't sound like you are getting that from your friend

And I know it's hard but please try and be kind to yourself - baby steps

Thanks. Very teary now.

This absolutely sounds like depression. You would not be wasting the time of a GP. You deserve to be healthy and well.

Definitely go and see your GP. Sounds like you need help with mood and poss minor eating disorder. Better to ask - they will not think you are wasting their time.

Thanks. Will try and get an appointment with doctor.

Woke up teary this morning. Just feel so low.

((Cider)) - it certainly sounds like you are depressed. I went to GP a month ago with similar issues, sky high anxiety and a immense feeling of hopelessness and feeling unable to cope.

GP was absolutely lovely, I sobbed & sobbed. I have been prescribed Citalopram and referred to Psych. Honestly, the best thing I have ever done. The GP prescribed Citalopram to lift me and it really has worked, I am month in now and the difference is incredible. I am waiting for counseling / CBT.

Sending you strength. Hope you can get an appointment with GP.

Your hugs have made me cry Northumberlandlass. How silly is that? Thanks for sharing your experience - glad you feel a bit better.

Admitting how I feel seems to have made it all come to the surface more.

I've always been able to snap out of feeling down before. Or maybe I just self medicated with food. Or shopping.

I managed to get an appointment for lunchtime.

I am pleased you have managed to get an appointment. Let us know how you get on?

I have functioned for many years, but the last 7 months have been particularly bad & I hit rock bottom. I had no where to go except up & meds have helped me do that.

I think maybe you would benefit from counselling too? With regard to eating & shopping for comfort. It will all help.
Going to GP & asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness x

Hi. I'm back.

Told doc how I was feeling and she asked what I wanted to do! I was a bit taken aback. Felt like I should know what I want but if I knew that I wouldn't feel so crap. She has given me info in accessing talking therapies - I need to self refer apparently.

She then asked if I i felt I needed any more help. She referred to medication as the elephant in the room. I ended up wondering if I was over reacting. So I asked what she would recommend and she said Citalopram but only if I wanted to. So I have a prescription for 28 days of Citalopram - 20mg. She suggested I go back in 2 or 3 weeks.

I ended up in tears as soon as I sat down and felt really shakey.

Thinking of you today x

Right .... ok Cider. This is exactly what I have.
Although my GP sounds like she is more sympathetic than yours & offered everything readily.

Citalopram (20mg) has worked a treat for me. Felt a little queasy in first few days, with dull headache, but honestly my mood lifted slightly within a week. I am a month in and friends are saying I'm like a new person. I would definitely go back to your GP in 3 weeks, I did and now have repeat prescription for meds.

I also had to self refer. It was an easy process. I called the number and a lady took details. A letter arrived about a week later with a date on for psych telephone triage (odd I know) - this was about a 30 minute interview. I have been told today my first counseling session is on 13 April - about a month after my telephone conversation.

Regardless of how helpful your GP was, I believe you have made the first brave step. Be kind to yourself & start this process. ((Cider))

Your GP was crap. As well as taking the tablets you need blood tests to check your thyroid function, vitamin B12 and iron. Is there another GP you could see at the practice? Ring reception and request blood test with nurse (they will have to OK this with GP but it could save you having to make appointment with GP).

Be brave

That is a brilliant start. Well done. Start taking the medication as soon as you can, and try not to put off getting the ball rolling with the talking therapy bookings. I think it took about 6 weeks for me to get my first group session, and about 3 months to get going with counselling. Waiting lists are long round here. Hopefully you'll be seen soon.

Well done again for making the start! Don't underestimate how proud you should be of yourself for that.

Thanks everyone.

Northumberlandlass - mine all sounds same as yours which is reassuring! Left my prescription in and need to pick up this afternoon - pharmacist was at lunch.

Constance - it did seem that way! The crapness I mean. Not sure any of the alternatives are much better there. With regard to bloods - I had all of that done a few months ago - one of my sisters was told she might have haemochromatosis so I got tested. It was same GP and she said we would check everything not just for the haemochromatosis. All was normal. And I gave blood last week and iron levels were good.

I will start the process to access the talking therapies. We do have private health insurance - might look into using that if I can. Not because I don't have faith in the NHS services but I know they are overstretched so I would feel guilty to be using NHS resources if I don't need to.

Sliced finger - thanks. Will do.

Thanks for all the support everyone. It really helped. It's so hard to know if what you are feeling is normal and you should just get on with it.

Always here to chat Cider - quite a few of us can regularly be found here The Village I've only just really started posting about my depression & anxiety and found it so helpful.

slicedfinger is right - you should be proud of yourself

Thanks - will have a look in The Village.

Got my prescription this afternoon and dropped the referral form in - the place is really close to our house.

DH is away and I haven't mentioned anything to him. He knows I have been a but quiet over last few days. I'm not sure what to tell him! I dropped him at the station at 7am without a word. Not sure what he will think.

I am pleased you have picked up your meds & started the Talking Therapy process.

Is it possible to tell your DH that you went to docs as you were feeling low & this is what they have offered? Sorry, if that sounds too simplistic x

Maybe. I will have a think.

thanks for your help and advice today.

I feel a lot calmer tonight. Spent the evening drinking herbal tea and watching tv. Feeling a bit of a fraud now. Is that normal? Don't want to feel shaky and weepy all the time but kind of feel I shoud if I'm really depressed enough to need ADs. Does that make any sense?

Anytime Cider. If you want to PM me at any time, please do so. I'm only a month ahead of you in this process, so we can start it together

I am pleased you feel calmer, could it be because you have taken control & have begun to deal with it? Depression (and in my case anxiety too) isn't constant shaky & weepy, in my case I lost control of coping, feeling low, not wanting to interact etc. Yes, there are crashing moments of tears & shakiness.