My doctor is ackward

[autumn89]

I saw my doctor twice last week i talked to him about being sexually abused when i was 12 by man who was jailed in 2012 for 18 counts he worked as a foster carer. My mum was with me and she said apparently i said what do you mean apparently (what she was truing to say was hed apparently abused girls for 3 decades) but she couldnt get the words out. He said are you telling me you were sexually abused? I replied yes (i dont cry in public because the reason i was abused in the first place was because i showed weakness so its a defense thing but i cry all night) he didnt know what to say he was quiet i stood up and left feeling panicky
I have proof from a conviction and notes from my support worker that i reported it 7 months before he went on trial. It took me ten years to come forward the very reason it took 10 years is because o was scared i wouldn't be believed.

I feel my doctor doesnt believe me and im feeling very depressed whilst i go through the compensation claim and its really tough his face is constantlh on the front page and im struggling to cope i cant sleep. I saw my doctor again after the initial one to ask for help but he just couldnt look at me he acted very awkwardly looking at his pen, i dont know why it was a very strange atmosphere and i just said i had a sore leg because i felt i couldnt talk about it and i dont know what to do

I have my support workers notes about the day i told him and he drove me to the police station and supported me through the worst months, and i have emails from my solicitor thats titled my name vs the city councils name And states the name of my abuser. This is proof how do i show him this without being very rude because i need help with my depression and im not getting
it i dont want to change surgeries as its two weeks before i can even see a doctor and i dont feel i can wait that long....
Please help
He is the only person thats never believed me and the fact i can prove it did helps but not sure of the best way to approach this i had a great rapour with my doctor prior to this now i dread getting ill

I don't think that he didn't believe you. He just didn't know what to say.
GPs are generalists and are looking for things they can fix. He can't fix what you have been through and therefore doesn't know how to proceed.
Have you been referred for counselling?
Write down what you need from your GP: If you have already been referred to mental health services and are receiving therapy he may need to speak to them regarding what is and isn't appropriate to prescribe. But do go back. Concentrate on the depression and make him give you some help.
Good luck.

I had counselling from rape crisis but that ended a year ago and NHS counselling i had prior was useless they werent trained to hear that and i remember her say wow thats a huge can of worms you just opened and i dont know where to start, i almost expect them to know what to say, i couldnt get as far as to tell him what i need because he started straight through me and then couldnt look at me at all. I do youtube videos and whilst crying ive recorded my panic attacks in the hope that others out there will see you can be successful, i do makeup vlogs hauls im mainly happy but i have a playlist where i talk about it and breakdown it doesnt rule my life but recently things have gotten out of hand and i need help because im in a hole. I dont cry infront of people i can cry at a camera its just people cant see that side of me because im vulnerable and that is the reason i was abused i don't know if i show him my papers my video and prove im depressed i need you to fix that not my past..