Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Is it normal for everything to feel so sad all the time?

26 replies

Notmymuse · 15/03/2015 20:12

I conclude it is because life's shit isn't it but not everyone seems to feel like this. But I don't understand how they can't. At the moment there's nothing positive at all, nothing to look forward to, I just can't see the point in carrying on.
Nor do I understand why anyone sees the point in carrying on because really there isn't one is there? Life's just one long struggle, lurching from one disaster to the next.
Isn't that how everyone feels?

OP posts:

WastingMyYoungYears · 15/03/2015 20:16

No, Notmy, it isn't. Have you talked to your GP? It sounds like you might be depressed.

I suffer from depression, so I understand how awful it can be. Lots of things can help though - CBT, antidepressants, exercise, mindfulness etc.

Lots of luck.

ChunkyMonkeysMummy · 15/03/2015 20:20

Couldn't read and run. Sounds like your suffering at a very low at the moment. Have you got any one in RL who you could confide in?
What do you do with your days? Have got any hobbies or interests that you could pursue in your spare times, to help ease your mind of any troubles you have at the moment.
Sorry I'm not very helpful, hopefully a mn with better advice will come along soon

Original poster

Notmymuse · 15/03/2015 20:22

No - I can't see the point.
Surely the gp must be depressed themselves from listening to people like me moan.
I know I probably am depressed but I can't see the point in treating it since I don't understand why everyone isn't depressed. What is there to be cheerful about? At the moment being miserable seems the rational response to life.
Also I think if I killed myself why would it matter? There's billions of people on the planet what difference would it make? It'd be like squashing an ant.

OP posts:

WastingMyYoungYears · 15/03/2015 20:22

Notmy, this is a description of depression posted by an MNer. It struck such a chord with me that I copied and saved it (unfortunately I don't know who wrote it though):

It isn't just 'feeling low' or having a temporary sense of worry about your life, it's a mind-numbing unshiftable mental and emotional exhaustion that seems to put out all the lights including the one at the end of the tunnel.

WastingMyYoungYears · 15/03/2015 20:25

There are lots of good things in life / things to look forward to. Unfortunately, depression can temporarily stop a person from seeing them though.

Please go to see your GP. You can write down a list of your symptoms if you don't know what to say.

Notmymuse · 15/03/2015 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

RandomMess · 15/03/2015 21:13

I have been where you are now, and I was there for a long, long, long time. It is depression and you can be helped and the light can reappear at the end of tunnel.

TheoriginalLEM · 15/03/2015 21:15

do you have family op?

i do understand to a degree where you are coming from. i suffer from anxiety and depression. medication helps me.

in the grand scheme of things my life is insignificant and so is yours.

BUT it is your life and you matter. you matter to you and you matter to your family.

You also deserve to experience happiness. im not really sure what that is anymore, i have days when its not shit and for now that will do. im working towards days when i feel "happy" then I'll know im better.

The meaning of it all? does there have to be one?

Original poster

Notmymuse · 15/03/2015 21:21

But if there isn't one then genuinely what is the point? I don't mean just to my life, I mean to everyone's life. Why struggle and struggle and struggle for years and years for absolutely nothing? Why not just cut to the chase and have done with it?
I have a tiny family. My parents would be upset. Dh could meet someone else though and ds is only 5 and if dh met someone else they could become mother to ds.

To be honest I don't care at the moment I just want to not feel like this. I realise this is deeply selfish and I still don't care.

OP posts:

ChunkyMonkeysMummy · 15/03/2015 21:32

You are your ds mum. No one else can replace you. You gave that boy life, you carried him for nine whole months. You are truly amazing
I urge you, please see you GP asap. by the sounds of it you have depression. This can be treated, and you can beat this! Does your DH know how you feel?

Original poster

Notmymuse · 15/03/2015 21:34

No he just tells me to get a grip and loses his temper with me.
I can't be bothered to talk to him anymore. Usually once ds is in bed I come upstairs and sit in the dark on my own. I don't want to see anyone or do anything or go anywhere ever again.

OP posts:

Original poster

Notmymuse · 15/03/2015 21:35

Dh is constantly attached to go iPad playing some pointless game. He rarely gives me the time of day. If I do try and talk to him - just generally not about this - he doesn't even lift his eyes from the screen.

OP posts:

TheoriginalLEM · 15/03/2015 21:37

but what if your dh met someone else who is an utter cunt and your ds grows up lonely and depressed. trust me there is no happy endings when a parent commits suicide. it wont be ok.

what has made you feel like this?

RandomMess · 15/03/2015 21:38

TBH the only thing that kept me going is that I didn't want my dc to have to deal with my suicide, to grow up thinking that they weren't "enough", to deal with the stigma.

Now, many years on I get joy out of my dc but for a long, long, long I didn't see the point of any of it.

Medication and professional help is what carried me through those dark, dark years.

MotherofA · 15/03/2015 21:39

This is so sad to read notmymuse... I felt like this for a long time when my do was very young . I cried every night and could not see the point in continuing . Then I came across a book called "you can heal your life " by Louise hay and I can honestly it helped me to see things differently . I didn't want to take anti depressants personally as I was afraid of how they might affect me so I tried to practice what she says in the book . I am so sorry that you feel like this but remember how much your child loves and needs you in his life . Nothing and no one replaces a parent x x x x

EmpressOfJurisfiction · 15/03/2015 21:39

Notmymuse - I get it. I really do. I've been there, and it's an illness just like any other. Seriously, talk to your GP. This time last year I was so close to suicide, now after a year of antidepressants and some very helpful therapy, I feel as if I've not only got my life back but the lights are back on. It has to be worth a try so do it!

ChunkyMonkeysMummy · 15/03/2015 21:40

Sorry this may seem a bit blunt - why are you with someone who treats you like this? You must know that you deserve better?
I'm sorry, I don't have any useful advice about how to deal with your DH get a hammer and break that fucking ipad is he unwilling to maybe go to some counselling with you?
It would be beneficial for you to have a frank discussion with him, if he's unresponsive, you will need to make a decision. Stay as you are or make that change, go to the GP and beat this!

TheoriginalLEM · 15/03/2015 21:43

cross posts with your last post - lady, your ds needs you!!

you can't see the wood for trees just now. Do me a favour? go to the dr tomorrow. tell them how you feel and ask for some medication. then get some counselling. well don't do it for me. do it for your son?

MotherofA · 15/03/2015 21:50

Therapy / counselling even alone without dh will help so much . This is a small part of your life and you will look back finding it hard to believe you felt this way xxxx

MNHQ

IonaMumsnet · 15/03/2015 22:18

We’re so sorry to hear that you’re feeling like this, OP.

Please contact the Samaritans, by emailing [email protected] or calling 08457 90 90 90. You can also see the resources in our Mental Health webguide here.

All the best.
MNHQ

AWholeLottaNosy · 15/03/2015 22:26

It sounds like the way your partner treats you may be part of the depression. I've had times where I really felt there was no point carrying on and I still struggle with it but anti depressants really helped me. I went from someone who was crying every day to someone who was singing walking down the street within 2 weeks of taking them. I felt happy for no reason for the first time in my life! Please go see your GP, talk honestly about how you are feeling. There is help out there! ( you may also want to start a thread in Relationships about your partner...)

Hugs and strength to you. X

MotherofA · 15/03/2015 22:36

Feel embarrassed admitting this but I called the Samaritans when I was at my lowest and it helped so much x x

Original poster

Notmymuse · 16/03/2015 06:52

I'm glad that most of you seem to be feeling better now even if not 100%

Re ds - the truth is I don't think I feel as attached as I should. I just feel numb. It's not so much that I think he'd be better off without me - although maybe he would - it's more that I feel so awful at the moment that I don't care whether he'd be better off of not.

Off to work now. No idea how I'm going to get through the day. I feel sick.

OP posts:

TheoriginalLEM · 16/03/2015 08:36

a feeling of detachment is a sign of depression. depression is an illness, you are unwell. Please go to your gp. You don't have to feel like this. If you had full on flu or broke your foot would you still go to work? no. you would get treatment. This is the same, well its not quite so simple but there is help available. You are a good mum xxxx

TheOrchardKeeper · 16/03/2015 09:32

Notmymuse - I am currently recovering from my third recurrance of major depression (and am under the crisis team after coming out of hospital). Just adding another 'voice' to say it can get better. I should know, this is the third time! I know that means almost nothing to you when you're very depressed because it's all "what's the point" and you're painfully numb and hopeless. I would really make a point of telling the GP about struggling with suicidal thoughts etc and they may be able to refer you onto a crisis team if they feel you need it. (A crisis team can just provide the support your friends and family can't. The Samaritans are one thing but they can't suggest anything to you or keep you safe like the crisis team can. The crisis team can also fast track you for therapy).

Even if you can't get refered to them you need to see your GP and make it very clear how you feel. And your DH sounds a bit pants which I doubt is helping!

Depression is sneaky and insidious and makes you believe things that are not facts. And it can really affect your relationships. I love my DS to bits but when I'm unwell I feel almost nothing other than obligation towards him and any other loved ones. But it's just a symptom, not a personal flaw. Right now it's sucking the life out of you but your are not as powerless to it as your probably feel right now.

And as to the point of life there may be no specific "point" but we make our own individual ones. Mine is to be a good mum to DS, to explore what I'm capable of and to experience as much as I can. I hope you get the help you need asap

Flip

1 2