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I hate Mothers Day

8 replies

bluetea · 13/03/2015 13:04

Well, that's it in a nut shell really. I hate Mothers Day. I hate it being rammed down my throat on tv, radio, in the shops etc. It is a reminder that my mother is dead. I hate my mother btw. It reminds me of why I hate my mother. I try to push all of those feelings to the deepest darkest depths of my mind and my soul, but every year they bubble back up to the surface. I hate the fact that I have to smile sweetly for my DH mother and even for my own children whilst inside I want to punch and kick and scream my way through the day until I collapse into a blur of tears and snot. There, I said it, do I feel better for having said it? No, not really, but I still needed to say it anyway.

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Lottapianos · 13/03/2015 13:10

Oh bluetea, I hear you. I feel very much the same. It really is rammed down your throat everywhere you turn. I'm estranged from my mother, and have very complex feelings about not having my own children, so its just all a bit shit really. And the worst thing of all is feeling alone, that everyone else is having a lovely jolly time with their lovely jolly mums and that you're the only one who is left out. Of course, I know that's not true really, but it feels that way sometimes.

I read something this week that has helped me - Mother's Day (and Christmas and all big public celebration days) are designed to make you feel guilty and inadequate, and to encourage you to spend your way out of it. Opting out can feel quite liberating, although of course its also painful.

You're not alone in this and you're absolutely doing the right thing in talking about it on here. Sending you strength for Sunday x

bluetea · 14/03/2015 16:12

Thank you, its was really kind of you to respond, I wasn't expecting anyone to, it was just to vent my feeling so I thank you for acknowledging me.

I hope that you manage to get through the day. Is there any chance in you reconciling with your mother?

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Lottapianos · 15/03/2015 09:43

Sadly none. She and my father are narcissists so everything is everyone else's fault. LONG story. I'm in therapy and coming to terms with it.

Good luck today, take care of yourself. I will be going out for a long walk and cooking a nice dinner for me and DP tonight x

Gsr06 · 15/03/2015 10:50

I too hate Mother's Day, but for diff reasons.. It seems as though everyone else in this perfect world (reality no one is but lots people won't admit that), reality it's just another day and for me those are hard to get through.. Ds2 woke me up at 7.45am to play mine craft with him, ds1 actually got up this morning (massive MH probs of his own so doesn't happen often) but then spent time panicking about what to do..got him sorted and he at least now calm.. In meantime dh has lie in then decides to go for cycle as he needs to get fit.. V little chance of all of us getting out house due to ds1 and anxiety.. So yes just another day, weird relationship with my mum as I love her to bits but she doesn't get our current situation..actually recently told me I could 'bully' ds1 out of his MH probs and get him back into life again...do I feel like a good mother, never.... Sigh.. Sorry for the rant but yes, hate additional 'rejoice' days when it is hard enough getting through normal days... Aren't families messed up.. Bluetea hope u get through it, u not alone. Just keep swimming ! X

Lurkingforanswers · 15/03/2015 11:00

Blue I'm with you. I just posted a mini fb rant saying it should be abolished along with fathers day and all similar commercial days. The reason being is that it makes people feel shit. I saw my child for 5 mins this morn and as I'm working all day, will see my mum for 2 minutes at handover as she's babysitting tonight but I have to read and listen to everyones mothers day plans. I'm also aware of people who have no mother and aren't mothers so really it's more those people I feel sorry for as it's rammed down your throat. I buy my mum gifts throughout the year, I know my child loves me, we spend many days together so why the need?

Lottapianos · 15/03/2015 12:16

Lurking, I think ditching all these days would be an excellent idea! I would happily see the back of Christmas as a public celebration too. Like you say, people who have a nice relationship with their mum don't need a day like this and people who don't have a mum or have a crap relationship just feel awful about it. Its just commercialised sentimental stereotypical rubbish

MummyBtothree · 15/03/2015 14:59

You dont have to smile sweetly for your mother, tell her the truth so you can enjoy mothers day with your children. My mother was horrendous to me so I broke contact with her, I owed it to myself and my kids. You will kick yourself in years to come that it spoiled mothers day every year. I soon learned to stop licking my wounds, deal with the fact I got dealt a crap mum, yes unfair but you are blessed with children of your own. Dont let her behaviour affect your life.

bluetea · 16/03/2015 13:21

Great advice as always from other mums! I survived the day as I knew I would and glad it's over for another year. I agree that we should abolish all of these stupid days as I don't have contact with my father although Father's Day never seems to bother me as much as Mother's Day does. Thanks ladies. X

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