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Mental health

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Original poster

Paranoia or delusion? How to help family member

13 replies

Autumndays14 · 06/03/2015 20:15

First time in this section and hoping for some advice. My mum suffers (I think) from paranoia or delusions or something. She has a very very elaborate conspiracy theory and thinks that everyone in the world is linked in some way in trying to cause her trouble and laugh at her. Basically about 20 years ago she was made redundant, and admittedly it was probably due to her face not fitting. This caused her a lot of stress at the time and she did take action for unfair dismissal and won. But on the back of this she thinks that everyone is out to destroy her. That she upset the wrong people and now everyone knows who she is, she says there is stuff about her online (I can't find it and neither can my dad, husband etc), she said that there are code words and people can score points for finding out info about her etc etc. she has mentioned this is the past and we've tried to calm her down and brush it off as it seemed to sort of go away. But now it's come back and she thinks my daughter should leave her school as one of the teachers looked at my mum oddly so it obviously part of this network. She thinks my neighbours are too. And she thinks it stretches worldwide and on holiday people are taking photos off her to score points on this secret website. It's really scary and today I just asked her to leave as I couldn't cope with the outpouring. It's all so weird and what's most upsetting now is that she is bring my children into it. She thinks that my sisters boyfriend broke up with her as he was paid to by this mafia that she thinks is around.

Is this paranoia, or delusion? And what can we do? I totally appreciate that the redundancy thing knocked her and I am not naive, I know that some people don't like certain people and want to make their lives hard. But there is no tangible evidence of anything.

I am sorry , I know I sound harsh but I am so frustrated.

OP posts:

Allstoppedup · 06/03/2015 20:18

Oh it sounds very difficult. I don't have any helpful advice unfortunately but I would certainly look to speak to a medical professional as it sounds like a very far gone paranoid delusion which can be indicative of lots of mental health disorders.

I hope your poor mum gets some help, it must be horrible for her living that way.

Original poster

Autumndays14 · 06/03/2015 20:25

Thanks for your reply. What is the best step? I don't know how much a GP could help unless they had special knowledge of mental health issues. I have looked up counsellors but they can't actually prescribe medication. It's so hard.

OP posts:

Thisismyfirsttime · 06/03/2015 20:46

How long has this been going on for? What does she say if you suggest she may be mistaken? I think gp should be your first point of call, how would she respond if you suggested this to her?

Original poster

Autumndays14 · 06/03/2015 21:06

For quite a while. Years. She thinks I am naive and don't know how the world works

OP posts:

Fuzzyfelt123 · 06/03/2015 21:13

Hi Op - try looking up 'Paranoid Personality Disorder'. Personality disorders are thought to be triggered by childhood traumas, so perhaps she was already like this and the redundancy sent it into overdrive. Definitely see a GP and get them to refer her. She may well refuse to go though of course. Sorry I can't be more helpful.

Thisismyfirsttime · 06/03/2015 21:14

Oh dear. Could your dad go to their gp on her behalf and explain what's been going on? Backed up by you perhaps? It's hard to get help for someone who doesn't want it but dm's doc should at least be able to advise you on where to go from here and whether she'd be seen by the crisis team etc if you were to call them.

Original poster

Autumndays14 · 06/03/2015 21:40

Thanks - it sounds like GP is the thing to do, but she thinks their GP isn't to be trusted as he's lived in the area for over 30 years so inevitably is part of this Mafia. A private GP? I agree that this is something she probably already had and has been triggered. It gets worse every time something bad happens like when I lost my job (fyi I was rubbish at my job! But obviously she thinks that they were paid to get rid on me). Thanks for your replies. I will speak to my dad re their GP and see if I can get her to come to a counselling session, just so we can talk in a more structured way

OP posts:

Thisismyfirsttime · 06/03/2015 22:55

I would see her gp (without her) to ask for advice. Explain the situation, see what they say and come back and let us know if they're not helpful. It seems to be completely random as to whether you get a helpful doctor vs complete waste of energy in these situations so fingers crossed for you!

Original poster

Autumndays14 · 07/03/2015 10:04

How should I behave with her? We're meant to be going over there today and I don't want to. She never mentions any of this in front of my husband so she won't talk about it but I still feel uncomfortable. But I hate myself as she is always so supportive of me and babysits lots and things. I feel like I suddenly don't know her anymore now.

OP posts:

Downtownmonkeyi · 07/03/2015 10:10

My mum was paranoid. She wasn't thinking any conspiracy theories but was blaming people of various things and also calling people about how she has been mistreated, which wasn't of course true. At one point my sister got enough got her sectioned. At hospital she was given antipsychotics, which she discontinued soon after discharge, but she has been better after hospitalisation. I don't know exact details how my sister got her sectioned, unfortunately.

CiderwithBuda · 07/03/2015 10:13

GP should def be first port of call but it will be hard if she already doesn't trust them. A counsellor probably would not be able to help much as it very much sounds like a fairly entrenched mental health issue.

It is very hard to deal with as you know it is all rubbish but it is her reality and makes complete sense to her.

My mum believed that my dad was having an affair with the man across the road. Nothing anyone could say would convince her otherwise. With my mum it was the start of a form of dementia.

Original poster

Autumndays14 · 07/03/2015 11:39

It's the dementia that worries me as I have read that paranoia can be indicative of early dementia. I don't think she needs sectioning as she is no danger to herself or society. She functions normally, work, babysitting , holidays etc. it's just her attitude towards people that is hard so she doesn't have any real friends and would never let anyone in. My dad is no emotional support as he isn't very emotional at all. She's always had to be the strong one for all of us.

OP posts:

Latara · 08/03/2015 17:56

It sounds like she keeps suffering from psychosis to me - I had very similar beliefs and it came on gradually then got very acute.
Luckily I was already seeing a Psychiatrist so I was put on anti-psychotics and still take them.

Firstly phone her GP for advice - say exactly what you have written in your OP. That should be enough to get a referral to the Community Mental Health Team.

She sounds like she needs some serious help. Once she is treated and the beliefs fade away she will feel so much happier.

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