DB has had OCD all his adult life but has managed to have an outwardly successful career and to function well from the pov of a casual observer. He has had very dysfuntional relationships with women but married a few years ago, to a calm, undemanding woman who has helped him a lot. However he is becoming very stressed about money, quite unnecessarliy, and it is affecting his life very badly.
He constantly tries to control the people in his life and to make them do what he thinks is right. This applies to a whole range of situations from friends choosing holidays, to their choice of partner and where they should live. He won't back off, but keeps nagging and presenting his pov, to the extent that people lose patience with him. He also tries to control dsil by threatening divorce if she won't do exactly what he wants in even the most minor matter.
I am afraid that he is so stressed by minor situations and is losing any understanding on what effect his behaviour is having on his dw and other friends and family. He refuses to access any professional help, except for taking seroxat, which he does find helpful. He has an obsession with telling the truth and insists on passing on all his most transient thoughts, however annoying or hurtful they are to the recipient.
Basically he is a lovely person and everyone cuts him a lot of slack, although I did pull him up recently when he was constantly bugging me about a small decision which was absolutely none of his business. He is still annoyed about that, even though it was a couple of weeks ago.
I think I need to know whether we should all back off, or whether it's right to point out how damaging his behaviour is to his relationships, especially his dw who is naturally upset to have him constantly threatening divorce or an affair if she won't toe his line?