I posted this in 'Chat' then realised there was a Mental Health section which might be more appropriate....
I think my Dad is depressed.
He is 65 and, after looking forward to it for about 10 years(!), finally retired a year ago.
He had all these ideas of how he would spend his retirement - take up golf, learn a language, join a walking group, gardening, etc., but he does nothing.
He has no routine or structure to his day, no hobbies or interests, nothing to keep his body or mind active.
He isn't sleeping properly (often goes to bed early evening but then is up in the early hours of the morning), I think he is eating ok (though probably could have a healthier diet), but worst all, he has really bad mood swings.
He is grumpy, critical, pessimistic, and very short (esp with my mum).
Some days he hardly speaks to my mum or if he does, it's one word, short (angry) responses.
And recently he won't even talk to me on the phone or visit me (and his grandchildren) despite my many attempts.
He has a season ticket for the local football team (his one interest!) but hasn't been to the last few matches and he used to go to the cinema reguarly but he hasn't been for a while now.
To fill his days he'll go to the supermarket about 3 times a day (every day!), watch rubbish on TV, eat, and sleep - and that's about it.
When he first retired he did join a language course but only went 3 times. Then he joined a history group but again only went 3 times then quit. He does do the gardening when the weather permits and I suppose going to the shops 3 times a day gets him out of the house and provides fresh air and exercise, but really we know this isn't 'normal' and he's only doing it to pass the time.
And I just really want to help him. He could be around for another 30 years and I just don't want him wasting the rest of his life like this. He's obviously not happy and probably extremely bored and maybe even feels a bit useless / lost. But any attempts to help him just seem to be ignored (ie. I've asked him to come to see me and the children tomorrow and thought I'd take him out for lunch but he just said (via my mum as he wouldn't talk directly to me) that he's not coming).
If we ask him what's wrong he either says 'nothing' or 'stop asking me'.
I think deep down he knows that something isn't right but doesn't want to admit it and/or doesn't know what to do about it.
I think maybe he thought retirement would be this amazing thing which hasn't lived up to expectations - though obviously it is down to him to make the most of his time and find those hobbies / interests etc., to make his non-working life worthwhile.
I just don't know what to do to help him. It's having a negative effect not only on him but also on my mum and, to a certain extent, me.
What can I do?
Thanks in advance.