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Would counselling be any good now?

9 replies

Pitchounette · 25/10/2006 15:56

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frumpygrumpy · 25/10/2006 16:02

I think you'd benefit hugely from counselling in this situation and you might only need a few sessions (maybe even one). I think a counsellor would help you sort through your feelings and you can then move on and up.

Don't worry about using up a place - you need the place and you have as much right as anyone else on the planet! Well done for getting to where you are .

I'm not sure how long waiting times are as I saw a counsellor privately. Someone else on here I'm sure will come along....

frumpygrumpy · 25/10/2006 16:04

I had CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) which was good, in very simple terms its a bit like positive thinking - they take your thought and turn it around so you view it another way. Good luck.

Pitchounette · 26/10/2006 09:59

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divastrop · 26/10/2006 11:08

waiting times depend very much on where you live,in some areas it can be months but in others it could be a couple of weeks.

butagoz · 26/10/2006 12:54

I would really recommend Transactional Analysis - I study it myself and it is the only thing which got me through PND with my first.
Compared to other therapies TA is understandable to everyone, therapist and the client work together as partners and it is suitable for just one session or many sessions commitment either.
The main idea is that everybody has a "learned script" which we wrote ourselves depending on our childhood circumstances.
Transactional Analysis was founded by Eric Berne, who sought to demystify psychotherapy and developed concepts, language and methods which were understandable to everyone.

Transactional Analysis is a tool which you will be able to use yourself in order to live the life you choose.

To make things easier, here are a few examples of my work with clients(of course all names are fictional):

My first client, Laura, was a mother of 2, 5 year old and 1 year old twins. A successful business woman in the past, Laura was getting depressed staying at home with small children and relying on her husband to earn a living. Her husband was very supportive of her going back into business again, but she was torn between the desire to be a "perfect mother" and re-claim her "former life". In a course of several sessions we explored Laura's feelings about working and her feelings about being a mother, which revealed complicated relationship between her "inner child" and "inner parent". What we achieved was Laura's new ability to rid herself of adopted feelings and prejudices, which did not belong to her, and discover the feelings and desires of her own. With that new skill acquired Laura was able to build a new life, which included her children and her work, the way she wanted it, not the way she was "meant" to live.

Another client, Anna, realised over the course of our sessions, that she could no longer live her life trying to keep her mother happy. The way she did it was by being unsuccessful and not allowing herself to write, which was her secret ambition. Ignoring her mother's statement that "girls should get married" and that "writing is not a proper job", she went on to show one of her scripts to a famous film director. The movie came out this year and was a success. Now Anna is working on a novel.

A couple, Lisa and John, came to the clinic because they started talking about divorce, but were not happy about it. After several sessions they discovered the sticking point in their relationship: their attitude to "family time together". John really loved and valued the time when they all sat at the table, ate and discussed the happenings of the day. Lisa absolutely hated it and stood up and walked out the moment she could. We discussed the attitudes to "family time" that were accepted in Lisa and John's families of origin and how they felt about it. We talked about what this time meant for both of them and how they could arrange it to meet each other's needs. But the main achievement was that Lisa and John were discussing their problem together and finding ways to solve it, rather than bursting into argument or sulking, like before.

You can find more about TA on Internet! Good luck

WeaselMum · 26/10/2006 14:09

your question seems to be - do you really need counselling? IMO, from what you say, you should definitely go for it - you want to talk to someone, you know what you want to work through. If you find a counsellor you can trust, then yes it should really help. It isn't just for people who are feeling depressed here and now. When I went for counselling a few years ago the waiting list was so long that my main crisis had passed - but I went anyway for similar reasons to you. hth x

Pitchounette · 26/10/2006 14:50

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frumpygrumpy · 28/10/2006 11:43

I was also worried about going to a counsellor because it felt like a final admission to myself that I needed someone's help. I only told my DP, my mum and a few hundred readers on here .

My counsellor made it all feel very light though and reminded me that I did well to get there and after the first difficult time of stepping through the door, it was fairly easy. You have nothing to lose......

jabberthefriendlyghost · 28/10/2006 11:47

I am still doing CBT for PND/PN PTSD and ds is 3! Of course, I only found a therapist I really clicked with when he was 2. But anyway, to answer your question, YES, go, it will be a good thing I assure you.

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